The Rawlings UFC

The final of all finals

2007-10-17T07:35:00.000-07:00

Halftime's over punks. Both D.Whiteside and J.Voorhees drank a couple gallons of Gatorade and ate a couple chili cheese dogs (they were out of manburgers) to power up for the second half while the Rawlings UFC creator, Mr. Andy Pawlowski, (he's not only a fighter, but the President) pumped up the crowd with a rousing speech. "I remember when I first started this........." snooze-fest.

UFC Title Game Begins.

2007-10-16T03:31:00.001-07:00

That's right, it is half time of your 2007 UFC title match. The perfect time to settle down for a nice Man Burger and a glass of Monavie. (shrimp flavored) It's Halloween season, the perfect time for Jason Voorhees. But let me tell you, Denny has seen like every Halloween movie. And he isn't scared. This is a matchup of office super powers. Of movers and shakers. (sometimes equal amounts

a sexy ride!

2007-09-27T18:40:00.001-07:00

Denny purred. Well his bike did, that is. Today was a beautiful day, and he was ready to take it for a ride. Now, if you haven't had the pleasure of riding behind Denny on the bike, let me tell you (well I haven't either, I'm just reading this from the expressions on the faces of people who have!) the view is challenging and you'd better find something to hold onto. Denny's bike is really

a grudge match. seriously.

2007-09-26T19:42:00.000-07:00

Wow, this was more than a matchup. This was a matchup of beauty versus beauty. Of a catalog model versus a catalog designer. Of two former interns - one who was forced to leave because Seth's intern experience ended, the other who was forced to leave because it was just getting awkward. Both are now hired and regular employees (as regular as you could call them), but both have that chip on

A battle of superhero proportions

2007-09-24T18:23:00.001-07:00

I know what you're thinking, right? We ALL know Logan "Out For" Justice is a superhero. But Jason "Graphics Violence" McCartney? Isn't he just a graphics guy? Yes. But he's a graphics guy who has worked on superhero images and put them on playground balls. So, this is clearly a dead-even fight going in. Well, Logan started off in trouble. McCartney arrived at work, or maybe never left (it

Shaw(Shank) Redemption?

2007-09-18T06:43:00.001-07:00

Chicago Final: #5 Ryan "The Closer" Farrar vs. #10 Becky Shaw "Shank Redemption"That's the match up, don't wear it out. In the Windy City you don't have a regional championship without drama. I won't even spare the drama for my Momma, I'll share it with you.Ryan "The Closer" Farrar , just like cable's #1 drama of all time, "The Closer," starring Golden Globe winner Kyra Sedgwick, is sure to be

Battle for the honor of the graphics universe

2007-09-16T20:11:00.001-07:00

The setup for today's matchup between #3 Jason "Graphics Violence" McCartney and #2 Kate "Bleepin" Ranzini began at the doorway to the castle. The castle you see had been thought by many to contain secrets that would allow you to conquer Eternia. McCartney wanted in. He likes secrets. So he arrived at the castle riding on his large battle cat, Cringer. Now for those of you who do not know,

battle on in the howells of justice

2007-09-13T20:03:00.001-07:00

Matt "Making Ladies" Howell since (98 ALUM) came in to work a bit ragged, which can happen to a finance guy this time of year. Your eyes hurt from the spreadsheets, your fingers feel as if they're imprinted into a calculator, your mind aches because you can't figure out what day it is in both real month and accounting month languages. It's kind of like playing Tetris when the puzzle pieces

Parody between Malloy and Mathis

2007-09-13T04:38:00.001-07:00

Today's fight parody (you'll find out why I called it that shortly) is between the #6 ranked Wendy "Still acting like a Newlywed" Mathis and underrated #15 Chuck "Chuck Bo Buck Banana Rama Fo" Malloy. Lets get going……..Come and listen to a story about a man named ChuckA poor salesman, never fed his family duck,Then one day he was callin' on an account,And up through the ground came a big large

Just dirty and tasteless

2007-09-11T11:52:00.000-07:00

Well, its 5:46 am and I'm tired. That is, I was tired until Erica told me that she needed to bring a jacket today because she had morning recess duty. Ha!! Gets me everytime. Duty…….very funny. Erica doesn't find it as funny as I do……I mentioned that story because yesterday's second fight between #6 Jason "do you have to go #1 or J2" Voorhees vs. #15 Jan "Red Bird droppings" Grundig was a

Refrigerator Perry style

2007-09-11T11:51:00.000-07:00

Choosing your favorite UFC fighter is a lot like choosing a refrigerator. In a refrigerator you want an energy star (obviously), estra wide adjustable side-out SpillGaurd Glass Shelves, full length handles, electronic ice and water dispenser with control lockout and LED light, and an in door ice dispensing system.In a UFC fighter you want an energetic star (obviously), extra wide behind kicking

France and Shaw... one plays hockey, the other plays hooky

2007-09-09T21:02:00.001-07:00

"Holy Moly," said Parish to Malone, "Did you see Friday's fight?" "No," Replied Malone. "Me neither," whispered Parish.Friday's fight was soooooo TGIF. Like totally. Fan favorite #3 Jeff "I see London, I see" France totally fought #10 Becky "Two Tables and a Microphone" Shaw in a battle that you'll forget about by this afternoon, but you shouldn't. Here's how it went, except for the parts

UFC 2.0, Jundt vs Farrar

2007-09-06T16:08:00.001-07:00

Welcome to UFC 2.0. Below find attached the story that has now become legend. Farrar vs Jundt, as reported by the experts (you). I'll fill in some gaps and add extra points for those who simply couldn't see what happened from their vantage point. I hope you enjoy. If not, you have no one to blame but yourself, or everyone else in the company... Ryan rode in this morning in on a

EVERY vote matters!

2007-09-05T18:14:00.001-07:00

Kate "Bleepin" Ranzini put her tobacco in early this morning. She patted her chin slightly, yes, no one would notice. Sometimes the tobaccy helps her get ready. You see, she felt extra feisty and told a few cars just what she thought of their "driving" as they pulled into the parking lot here at Rawlings. After egging on a few of the Verizon folks, Ranzini plopped down at her desk, closed the

Bad Kuato, Bad.

2007-09-04T19:55:00.001-07:00

Let me boil the fight that I'll deem the under card into the following bullet points regarding the #3 seed, Jason "Graphics Violence" McCartney:* He is in the middle of catalog season* He has an expecting wife at home* He has an angry growth known as Kuato, who lives inside his right shoulder and comes out whenever necessary* He has an extra-strong (albeit not durable) back and has been known to

Steven Seagal, Zen, and Superpowers

2007-09-04T19:53:00.000-07:00

This fight is the MaIn Event, not the under card. In anticipation for this fight, Steven Seagal actually decided to change the name of his blockbuster 1991 film. Apparently, he is afraid that the title of this film, "Out for Justice", will send the wrong signal and enter himself into a fight that he simply doesn't want. And we all know about those fights you just don't want to make. Maybe

You've Been Flashed!

2007-09-04T05:08:00.001-07:00

This is a crazy time of the month. Time for the accounting team to essentially lock themselves up, shut out from the outside world or even from IM, almost as if they've been quarantined. I learned recently what they do, and I have to say I'm a bit shocked. And this treatment was exactly what Bruce "Bruce" was about to receive as well. That's right, on Friday, both Jarden and Bruce were about

Rumpshaker

2007-08-30T21:18:00.001-07:00

Chuck "Power Plant" Malloy snickered as he thought about this matchup. He had been training for it ever since that day he saw his sparkling face and powerful figure on the cover of Baseball America (as a star of a Rawlings bat ad). Or maybe it was when he appeared in a cloud of dry ice at a sales meeting. Or starred in a home movie by Denny "big sexy" whiteside.... In any case, he was ready.

A Battle of Love

2007-08-24T15:05:00.001-07:00

Oh, love is in the air. I've noticed this as I've watched J2 and Seth have worked patiently together on a special project going back and forth, picking out colors and details over the past several months. It's almost like they are planning a special event. I hope I'm invited...Jason "El Gigante" Voorhees has been training for this matchup for awhile. In fact, for the past thirty days or so,

self service mailroom explosiveness

2007-08-23T19:45:00.001-07:00

I wouldn't have believed it if I didn't see it with my own eyes. This was the battle of an All Star (Ron Hilson of the Rawlings All Star award) and an MVP (as in, Lindsey Naber-Garvey, NL MVP of 1974). And they were staring at each other in the mail room. Joann Miller had cleared out of the way faster than she has in a UFC bout (except for that Whiteside battle). The battle began by Naber

Who ordered the Surf n Turf?

2007-08-23T06:26:00.001-07:00

Ever sit around with your friends and the question pops up of who would win in a fight between Ron and Pam? Me too! Its an argument that could only be settled one way: The Rawlings UFC.Number 1 seed Ron "Busta" Kappauff "(in your....)" versus number 9 Pam "Pann Pann" Klosterman. Apparently the UFC decides match ups based on alphabetical order? Here's how it all went down:Ron came to work very

a tech center full of hockey pucks

2007-08-21T19:58:00.001-07:00

Who is the toughest, meanest Rawlings tech center employee? That is the question, first explored by Greg Williams, along with the regular members of El Tech Lucha Libre (also known as the Mixed Martial Arts InterOffice Fight Club). This is a group of people who have the ability to multiply like rabbits, but more like Gremlins - or like Mogwais who have eaten pizza after midnight no doubt. In

A Most Excellent double dose adventure

2007-08-20T19:34:00.001-07:00

This day would be the day that the Wyld Stallyns would be put to the test. When we last left William "Bill" S. Preston Esquire and Ted "Theodore" Logan, they were starring in a hit 1991 movie. Now it was time for Bill & Ted to have an Ultimate Fighting Adventure. They would be put to a test in the name of Ryan "The Closer" Farrar and Jeff "I see London, I see" France, respectively.Bill and Ted

improbable matchup is the best in ufc history

2007-08-19T16:55:00.000-07:00

I've seen many a fight in my Rawlings UFC career. But nothing at all like this epic, two-day battle known as Tomaszewski-Jundt. Expect to see a rematch. This was a downright nasty battle....Tomaszewski had spent the days since his dismantling of Debbie Hudgens growing out his sideburns (they are now down to a level 4) and intimidating his future opponents - trust me 6 seed Jason "El Matador"

A final 1st round matchup

2007-08-15T15:43:00.000-07:00

Here we go...How do you crush an ant? Kate "Bleepin" Ranzini entered this morning in a foul mood. Well I'm not sure if it was her mood that was foul, but it certainly was her mouth. She cussed out the security guards for looking at her strangely (apparently she missed out on Seth's Googly Eyes write up - that's just how he is). She kicked in the downstairs door (note: your security codes will

Home Remodeling day for the UFC

2007-08-15T06:11:00.001-07:00

Suzyn Rae "Agent Orange" Siebert sat in her third floor cubicle armed and ready. She had completed a much-needed school supplies drive (or at least initiated one) perfectly synched with her bout. She planned a speech to the Rawlings employee base a mere two weeks ago, and was sure to flex several times while giving it. She hadn't really given much thought to the UFC, let alone that her first

an explosive graphics leather battle

2007-08-13T20:44:00.001-07:00

Williams looked at the form next to McCartney's man pipes. This form looked like an art request, but what were those questions? And how does the graphics team create these things that look real, so real you have no choice but to go along. But is it really real? G -Will examined the form.Question 1: Name (of victim) Is that my name? Williams asked (silently). McCartney nodded, as if to say,

a playground battle

2007-08-13T20:41:00.001-07:00

If silence combined with astute analytical skills could truly kill, these two warriors (Adam Shupe "rstar" and Biju "Cricket Superstar" Mathew) would be top UFC seeds. But unfortunately for the UFC, this was a battle best served for a playground. In fact, that's exactly where these two agreed to meet, in that one playground just east of our office. Yes, that one...Mathew went to work first,

Make a Right turn Where?

2007-08-13T05:03:00.001-07:00

There's always a #12 seed who beats a #5 seed, right? Well, we've already had one with Lindsey "MVP74" Naber outsting Brian Scheele "s apparently not in session". Could there be another?This was a battle that had been brewing hotter than the coffee Mark "Leave me" Malone picks up each day on his way to work. You see, Starbucks offers you a discount (reportedly 10 cents) if you are willing to

Where's Logan? Probably in a Phone Book somewhere

2007-08-13T05:02:00.001-07:00

In the Northwest corner: #4 Logan Justice (No nickname needed)In the Southeast corner: #13 Ben "Spreadsheet Wiz Kid" SchoenThumbs up, lets do this.More super than a super value meal, more super than Barney singing, "Super-de-duper," more super than a male interior decorator saying, "Sssuper" is Super Logan Justice. I mean really, just try and say her name out loud with out being intimidated (

Art vs Howell (and a junky) in an old school fight

2007-08-13T05:01:00.000-07:00

You know what day it is…..and yes, you should be biting your fingernails during this fight. Art Chou "D2" vs. Matt "Number Puncher" Howell was a great fight; let me tell you all about this #8 - #9 matchup.These two fighters were so excited to rumble that they met each other at exactly one second after midnight knowing that it would take a while and they needed to be at work on time. (No time

A Customer Service Extravaganza

2007-08-07T15:20:00.000-07:00

Today was a day when Brucemania hit the mainstream. Bruce "Bruce" Dickmann arrived into work wearing his wetsuit. This would allow him to handle any attack he might receive, while maintaining a slippery feel that would keep his opposition (Bob "Sausage" Neauss) unable to get a firm grip.And, in true Dickmann form, he was prepared and correct.Neauss went in for the first strike, going for it all

Double Dose Monday: Are you Bieg enough?

2007-08-06T19:31:00.002-07:00

Dan "Big" Bieg was prepared. He wasn't about to have a repeat of last year's debacle, when then #1 seeded Bieg lost to #8 Wendy Mathis in the first round. He wanted to avoid the label of being our version of a KU - that high seed that couldn't get to the final 4 (or out of the first round)... But 2-seeds were winless so far this year, with Scott Keene losing to the unseeded Wes Lukash and

double dose monday: a 3 way power struggle

2007-08-06T19:31:00.001-07:00

This battle was the ultimate matchup of brawn. Of pure muscle power. A battle of cleanup hitters locked in a 7 vs 10 power struggle. Scott "Big Tuna" Siebers knew he would need more votes than the 3 he picked up in last season's defensive battle - a 3-2 victory, edging out Zoomy Zumbach. Accoring to insider reports, the Big Tuna didn't necessarily want this one. But then again, did he really

does a 400% improvement = victory in the ufc?

2007-08-05T19:19:00.001-07:00

Interesting question to ponder, huh? Generally (General Lee) Lummus would face a tough combatant - last year's UFC runner up Wendy "Still a Nasty Newlywed" Mathis in a Sturgis opening round battle. And we were about to see if a combatant taking in over 4 times the power this year versus last would be enough... or if it would be one of those plans, like a financial plan, in which huge

a flight planned a year ago

2007-08-01T18:36:00.001-07:00

How could that be, you ask? Well, this was a UFC plot executed to perfection. Here's the story...The time was Fall 2006. "6 Degrees of" Dan Cullinane had just finished watching another shoddy performance from his Fantasy Football team, The Cullinane Lady Bugs, led by his quarterback, the offensive (pun intended) Michael Vick. Vick had disappointed Cullinane one more time (side note:

Battle for West Virginia

2007-07-31T19:35:00.000-07:00

Fans, this was a UFC matchup that had been brewing for months. Let me get specific and paint a picture for you... There we were, mid-March, and it was time to enter your team into the Tomaszewski March Madness bracket. No time to act, no time to go online... So Tim "West Virginia Thumper" Lord delegated. He asked Neil "Piro Maniac" Shapiro to go online and enter in his bracket. Shapiro

Double Dose Monday

2007-07-30T18:40:00.000-07:00

We opened up the Sturgis regional today to the sound of a Harley humming. That's right, its UFC and that means it's time to Bring Sexy Back... Denny "Big Sexy" Whiteside took to the ring against #16 JoAnn "Special Delivery" Miller. Whiteside saw what had happened yesterday when another leather-leaning combatant (Gessley) took a spill... So Whiteside wasn't taking anything too lightly...Miller

Biggest upset in UFC history?

2007-07-29T15:15:00.000-07:00

The UFC has seen her share of shocking moments... Jeff France battling Jeff France. Maryanne Whitis fighting for a week. Biju Matthew breaking his ankle. Wes Lukash crashing the field... but never had we ever seen a matchup with the potential to throw a bracket into a convulsion than we had today:#15 Jan "Redbird Attack" Grundig vs. #2 (and defending champ) Travis "Back to Back" GessleyFirst

Pro Pain starts a fire

2007-07-26T15:40:00.000-07:00

It is moments like today that we realize the gladiator spirit that exists in our offices, and that is the heart and soul of the Rawlings UFC. It was mid-afternoon and your third-favorite (after Seth and Greg W) UFC commentator (that would be me) was casually sitting at his desk when he was dive bomb attacked by something that was a mix of wasp, hornet, and angry centaur. Whatever it was buzzed

can darkness be silenced?

2007-07-25T22:03:00.001-07:00

Mark "of Darkness" Barry got in a bit early this morning, getting ready for a big meeting at a large retail partner somewhere. He had felt it - that signal, much like the Bat signal of comic books. When a retailer shines that signal, that light, Barry puts on his suit and heads off. But before leaving, he had a special surprise to occupy his competition. He sent off an email, one of the more

Seth's Power of Pink

2007-07-24T20:12:00.001-07:00

All the best athletes tend to get known by shortened versions of their names. In baseball, we have Dice K and A-Rod. Basketball has T-Mac and A.I. Football has LT. And the Rawlings UFC has L-Rod. As in "Crystal" Seth Elrod. Now before we get into this battle let's answer a favorite question of our readers:Q: "How did seth earn the nickname Crystal?"A: "It is purely rumor that L-Rod is from

Double Dose Monday - Naber vs Scheele

2007-07-23T21:18:00.000-07:00

Every year there is a 12 seed that comes out of nowhere to blast away a 5-seed. It has to happen, like some crazy law of averages. This year in the UFC we’ve only had one 5/12 battle, won by the five seed (Ryan Farrar) over the 12th-seeded Mick Portell. Could this be the underdog victory? Lindsey came into work early this morning. She dusted off her family photo album (young kids might

Double dose monday - Cruz vs Hilson

2007-07-23T21:17:00.000-07:00

#4 Curtis Cruz “Control” vs. #13 Ron “100% Silky Cotton” Hilson This was an interesting day for UFC fans. Not only did it pack a double punch of good old fashioned dragon slaying, but it allowed us to clearly see a difference in demographics. Which combatant would carry the early vote (those who replied to the hotmail email account)? And which carried the afternoon vote (those who hit reply

Pamm Pamm versus the Chief

2007-07-21T07:35:00.001-07:00

Robert "The Chief" Parish had a hall of fame career. For 20, yes, that's right TWENTY years he had logged over 70 games and 1,000 minutes of pulverizing, relentless, dirty, sweaty, hardnosed play on the courts. He had elbowed his way into 1,568 games and played 29 minutes per game, leading him to wear very unfashionable (but color-coordinated) knee braces. Then, he decided to come back for one

You want a piece of this?

2007-07-20T04:45:00.000-07:00

If you expect to make it to the UFC finals, you'll have to go through #1 seed in the rio region "home" ron kappauff. Think you're ready? Well, ask yourself this question:How many newcomer of the year awards have you won?

Top Seeded Kappauff takes on the HR team

2007-07-19T20:28:00.001-07:00

Today's contest was both a battle of minds and a battle of feet. A war of will, that unfortunately can sometimes be an iron will. Oh, yes, things were ready for today's battle between #16 seed "Marga" Rita Carel and #1 seed "Home" Ron Kapp-Off. Rita worked diligently in the wee hours of the morning preparing for battle with her sidekicks (reportedly Sharon "The First Lady of Hard Core" Adams

Keene fights more than just Bensing

2007-07-19T04:46:00.001-07:00

Thanks Greg for one more commentary!Keene sucker punched Bensing, and the fight was over. 11-10Or was it?As Keene climbed atop the winner’s podium, a faint rumbling could be heard in the distance, slowly growing louder. It sounded like thunder, felt like an earthquake, and was accompanied by some type of music. Bystanders uneasily looked around, confused at first and then cringed as it became

Another vice presidential beating

2007-07-18T11:03:00.000-07:00

Becky Shaw vs. John Parish... courtesy of reporter Greg Williams:It began like any other normal day in the office...quiet and peaceful. Not because our two fighters weren’t eager enough, but perhaps because they were too eager.Excited to prove the worthiness of her home office, the underrepresented Tech Center, Becky had risen early to prepare for battle. She went to the main office, crawled

UFC Double Dose Monday - Ted vs. Mike

2007-07-17T07:30:00.001-07:00

This is the UFC fight between two of the Greatest Rawlings has ever seen. They thought of Rawlings one night while drinking and decided to run with it. They invented it, manufactured it, marketed it, sold it, and made it the organization it is today. Text books even say that MLB actually stands for:M – MikeL – Led (they meant to write Ted, but they were drinking when they came up with the

UFC Double Dose Monday: France vs. Noser

2007-07-17T07:28:00.000-07:00

You love this match up don’t you? I know you do. Monday’s first battle in the Rawlings UFC was a good one. The contenders were armored, shaved, man-scaped, and pumped. They had actually arranged for the fight to take place in the Maryville Gym, probably something to do with the cheer camp there this week.When the bell rang (the bell is Bob T. saying “ding” real loud) Jeff “Viva la” France and

Would you two please stop fighting?

2007-07-16T11:14:00.001-07:00

This is the Rawlings UFC. No intro needed, you’ve been here before. You will continue reading. Do it.The first one to the battle was 12th ranked Mick “The Closer” Portell, which really goes against his name. Second was the higher 5 seed, Ryan “Flamer” Farrar….oops, I missed the “throwe” in his nickname, make that Ryan Flamethrower” Farrar. Sorry about that.The fight started out with mental

A battle worthy of the continent of Kalimdor

2007-07-12T19:45:00.000-07:00

This is a tale of two warriors coming into this year's field with different momentum (and agendas). Let's take a trip back down memory lane, also known as last season's field......Dave Bommarito was an underdog, the Italian Stallion, ready to prove his worth against the Apollo Creeds known as other fighters. He had that chip on his shoulder, labeled a non-worthy warrior, a 12-seed. (last year

Check out our UFC tees!

2007-07-11T23:03:00.000-07:00

Thank you to Jason Voorhees for this outstanding piece of work. We have our official ufc tees. if you are interested in buying one (cost of $5), please let me know how many and what sizes.Sorry these do not come with matching boy shorts.I'll place this order at the end of the month, so you have until 7/27 to order. But don't wait. And don't play with fire.

Kappauff imagines Rita's face on volleyball, spikes it hard

2007-07-11T23:00:00.000-07:00

There was a powerful spike that came off the hands of Ron "Busta" Kappauff on Wednesday night at the Fenton Bud Sports sand volleyball league. When asked if he was envisioning anything in particular on that hit (known in volleyball lingo as a "kill"), Ron said "no."But we know what he meant.And I hope Rita is doing some cardio to keep their matchup moving at a quick pace. That one's next

Mark this one off your list

2007-07-11T20:53:00.001-07:00

With great power comes great responsibility.A deep line from a famous comic strip, but very fitting for today's UFC bout between Carol "The" Mark and Dan "My email address is not support@rawlings.com" Jundt.Now, while it is 100% true that Jundt arrived at work today in biker's shorts, it is also true that he brought something more powerful than even a pair of biker's shorts. Something we all

Windy City Shocker? Not this time.

2007-07-10T19:10:00.000-07:00

Every year we say it... Someday a #16 seed will upset a #1 seed. The law of averages shows this just plain old has to work out. And, believe me, Bob "Windy City Shocker" Tomaszewski has crunched those numbers. Last year no #1 seeds made it to the final four. That's a big amount of pressure to put on Tomaszewski -- a man who is no stranger to pressure. And, he's spent the offseason dropping

A Good Old-Fashioned Sausage Race hits the UFC

2007-07-09T16:00:00.000-07:00

Ever been to a Milwaukee Brewers game? Let me tell you, if you haven't, there is a special treat for the fans. It's called the Sausage Race. They have special mascots, decked out in the outfits of Chorizo (a delicious but spicy Hispanic sausage) named "Cinco", a Polish (a tasty delicacy of Europe) named "Stosh JonJak", and the Brat named "Brett Wurst" (a must have for any tailgate). Sometimes

Who wants a piece of Bob Neaus?

2007-07-08T19:39:00.001-07:00

There they stood.10 young men and women all sharing one desire. A desire to take down each other and enter into a smackdown on Monday with Bob "Sausage" Neaus.Now there are several tactics one can take in order to go after that Battle Royal title. Do you go at it alone, or do you join others to launch a bigger competitor out of the ring? Or do you blend in, hoping to not get noticed? Who

UFC final thoughts and intern Battle Royal!

2007-07-05T20:30:00.000-07:00

First, a refresher on the UFC, Rawlings style:1. How were the combatants determined this year? It was a struggle, which is a good thing! Last year it began with a shorter list of people who I was pretty sure wouldn't be offended. This year, it was based on employee suggestions, returning fighters from last year, and fan suggestions. The UFC doesn't like process, as you'll learn. It tends to

Rio Regional Preview

2007-07-03T13:19:00.000-07:00

Finally, thank you to Ryan Farrar... here is your Rio Regional!The last but not the least, Rio Regional is a solid region from top to bottom. Ron “2nd place is the first loser” Kappauff drew the one seed with his solid showing in last years tournament, and his workout regimen after work EVERYDAY. He has been training for a full year and is ready to claim the title. Don’t let his quiet office

Sturgis Regional Unveiled

2007-07-03T10:31:00.001-07:00

Thanks to Greg Williams, we have region #3 previewed! Welcome to Sturgis, SD Population: Whiteside The Sturgis bracket has shaped up nicely for a UFC season kick off that will soon reveal which competitors have been taking their vitamins[1] this off-season and which ones have been lazy. The region finds itself filled with an abundance of talent and

Chicago Regional Preview

2007-07-02T19:34:00.001-07:00

Thanks to Matt Howell, here's your Chicago Regional preview:It’s been previously announced that the 1 seed of this region is Bob Tomaszewski, but how does the rest of the region stack up as the fighters try and make their way through some deep dish pizza to get to the round of 4. The 1 seed gets the 16 seed draw and I wouldn’t want to draw this fighter. Debbie “No More Employee Order Requests

Edwardsville Regional Preview

2007-07-02T19:29:00.001-07:00

Couresy of Seth Elrod, here's a breakdown of the E-Ville Region.Welcome to the preseason analysis of the Rawlings UFC Edwardsville Regional. This is where you find out who made it, who didn’t, and who shouldn’t have. This region looks as competitive as the rest and by playing on the ILL-side of the river you know they’ll be a little tougher. Let’s break it down, pound for pound: #1 Bruce

Rawlings 2007 UFC #1 Seeds announced!

2007-06-29T05:24:00.000-07:00

Here they are ladies and gentlemen! The 4 individuals we're deeming #1 seeds in this season's Rawlings UFC. But who are these guys? And do they deserve to be called #1 seeds?They come from 4 departments. Denny "Big Sexy" Whiteside comes from the R&D department, as the #1 seed in the Sturgis region. Yes, Denny has a passion for his Harley, which certainly inspired the name of this regional.

Rawlings UFC 2007 Coming soon!

2007-05-23T15:41:00.000-07:00

Look for the Rawlings UFC year 2 to start soon... I'll keep year one live so you can track back and see how last year evolved!We should have a full 64-person bracket, and I'm sure lots of twists.Stay tuned.

Lady Liberty Reigns

2006-10-11T13:32:00.000-07:00

The score was tied at 13.Travis sprinted back into his office. He closed the door, sending echoes throughout the walls of the Rawlings Group, revealing a mirror (life size) hidden behind his closed doors.Gessley stared at the mirror and flexed. First his left arm, then his right. He walked to his desk and grabbed a nice, tasty protein shake.This time it was Celery surprise.Mmm.He was ready.

UFC Title Match Begins

2006-10-06T05:44:00.000-07:00

Wendy "Nasty Newlywed" Mathis began to tire of the stories and legend growing regarding Travis "British Bulldog/Monster Truckin" Gessley. She had to constantly sit at her desk, crank up the (soft) rock and try to drown out the gushing coming from neighbor Seth "Purple Nurple" Elrod's cube. "I can't believe Travis crushed a cow." "I can't believe Travis smashed a pig." "I can't believe Travis

Just Who Looks Better in Leather?

2006-10-04T04:56:00.000-07:00

These two warriors, Travis "British Bulldog/Monster Truck/Lady Liberty" Gessley and Denny "Big Sexy" or as he's known in the R&D circuit, "Doctor gLOVE" Whiteside build their world around leather. Whiteside just added a new Leather cover to his Harley seat. Gessley refuses to moisturize his hands in the hope that they, one day, will become leather.But this battle is more than a battle over

Blinded by the Light?

2006-10-02T22:32:00.000-07:00

Just how would Wendy "Nasty Newlywed" Mathis withstand the Blinding White Light known to the rest of us as Jeff "White Walls" France? Everyone knows that France is not a morning person. As Jeff pulled into the Rawlings Group parking lot, he had no idea what was about to happen. He wheeled into his trusty parking space, got out of his car, and turned to walk into the building. He didn't even

Final 4 Preview!

2006-09-28T17:56:00.000-07:00

The matchups just couldn't be any better. We have two matchups that are kind of like Father-Son or Father-Daughter. They are two matchups where an older, wiser veteran has taken a younger, up and coming star under his wings and watched his child grow up... and now his child wants to take him OUT. Really, these matchups are a lot like Rocky V, except for the fact that we hope they are much

And Then There Were 4....

2006-09-28T06:46:00.000-07:00

By Guest Writer Seth ElrodNow gather around children, have a seat, and let me tell you a story. It’s a story about two men; they were great warriors who fought for their lives in a historic battle called the Rawlings UFC. One of the brave men, Denny “Big Sexy” Whiteside, came into the battle undefeated and the other, Bruce “Bruce” Dickmann, made an amazing comeback after losing a heart-breaker

Foot vs. Dog with an accent

2006-09-28T06:45:00.000-07:00

By Guest Writer, Seth ElrodHere comes another one………the UFC is winding down, but the fights get more mean with each passing day. The fighters can taste the championship fight and are willing to do anything to make it to the finals. There was proof of this in yesterday’s UFC battle between #1 Ranked Ron “Foot of Fury” Kappauff and #3 Ranked Travis “British Bulldog” Gessley.Again the fight

France versus France

2006-09-22T17:28:00.000-07:00

Today was, without a doubt, the most heated, bloody confrontation ever seen in a Rawlings UFC matchup. It was an epic battle. One for the ages. And one that just had the power to drive a certain Jeff France CRAZY. But today was not the first time these two men, Jeff "Man of the Blinding Light" France and Jeff "Pure Darkness" France had battled. The two have, in fact, been tangling on and off

Stare at Numbers Final turns into a battle of the Airwaves

2006-09-21T20:11:00.000-07:00

Bob "Capone" Tomaszewski diligently inputted his forecasts into the system all day today... including a forecast for PAIN for his cube-neighbor Wendy "Nasty Newlywed" Mathis. And you have to admit, things looked bleak for Mathis. She was facing a man who had left a trail of accountant remains throughout the Rawlings Group - thrashing through Matt Howell and Lee Lummus, with a taste of Bruce

Denny's Hips Don't Lie

2006-09-20T20:28:00.000-07:00

The UFC has yet to see a matchup with such different battle tactics.And with the exception of Friday's upcoming Jeff France vs Jeff France matchup, we won't see two opponents square off this season who are so similar, yet so different.Brian "Gentle Giant" Hoying prefers Crosby Stills Nash & Young, workouts after work, spoons full of peanut butter, and jumping over things.Denny "Big Sexy"

A Crazy Aerial Firestorm and a Man in Curlers Rock the UFC

2006-09-19T20:29:00.000-07:00

Ted "ROY 1969" Sizemore arrived at work early. He was very psyched - we're getting near the big Anniversary of the Rawlings Gold Glove Award (don't miss that presentation - sorry for the reminder plug), AND one of his girls was fighting. In fact, he got in so early that he still had his curlers in his hair.... Early and ready for the Silent Assassin to enter the building. And when Jim

Warning: Do not eat canned tuna

2006-09-18T16:37:00.000-07:00

This release was found on the newswire from June:A batch of tuna fish imported from Thailand has intercept by Zhongshan Inspection and Quarantine Bureau for containing cadmium 5 times above the safety standard.This batch of tuna fish will be destroyed according to related regulations. Cadmium is said to be one of the most nocuous elements to human health, which may lead to toxicosis or even

2006-09-17T20:13:00.000-07:00

Ron "Foot of Fury" Kappauff set off to become the only "1" seed to make our Elite 8. In his way stood (or should I say posed) Derek "Zoolander" Speicher. This looked, on paper, to be a great matchup. Speicher loves to work it down the runway, but Kappauff has been known to be better at actually closing the deal.Speicher arrived at the match wearing loose-fitting clothes, which may have barely

Um...is France fighting again?

2006-09-15T20:07:00.000-07:00

(by Matt Howell)Well, folks..don't check twice..yes indeed Jeff France is fighting again. But this time, it isn't his 2 graphics lackeys, it's the more formidable Tower of Power. Would Jeff Freedom Fries be winded from his previous days fight or would the power of the bright white tennis shoes take him to victory?The fighting started off slow - I suppose both fighters were still blinded by the

Whiteside Training Regimen is Flat Out Scary

2006-09-13T15:06:00.000-07:00

WOW.Unknown Rawlings photographers have been able to capture secret training footage of Denny "Big Sexy" Whiteside and, let me tell you, be afraid. Be very very afraid of what might hit you. This man is READY.

The Ultimate Graphics Showdown

2006-09-13T15:05:00.000-07:00

Jason "Lerroyyy Jenkins" Voorhees was the newcomer, the young fella in the Rawlings Group's graphics team. He had risen from intern to employee faster than any employee outside of Bommarito. And he was out to prove he had the graphic skillz needed to dominate the UFC.Jason "Spanish Blood" McCartney was the veteran, the old man of the graphics team, the voice of experience. Looking to send

Is the R&D team planning for 07?

2006-09-12T17:33:00.000-07:00

Reports have surfaced that the R & D team is about to unveil their secret weapon, with the toughest name on the UFC Ticket for 2007:Logan Justice.Watch your backs.

How do you Spell PAIN?

2006-09-12T17:32:00.000-07:00

The vote was rocked... The day started calmly for the Number Puncher. He pulled up to the Rawlings Group early in his trusty 95 ALUM. He stalked the steps to the front door and waited for Bob "Capone" Tomaszewski to arrive. Upon entering the building, Bob approached the door to punch in his code. It didn't work. The light flashed red. He heard a cackle and then could merely watch in awe as

Could a man in a leather spandex bodysuit ruin a honeymoon?

2006-09-11T20:18:00.000-07:00

Today's match is proof that every vote matters.Dave "Italian Stallion" Bommarito spent the past week working hard. Sporting his reflective bodysuit (which he had spraycoated with Liquidmetal for a bit extra weight) to work to get into match weight the past week had him prepared. But he was about to learn that the Nasty Newlywed was a bit tougher than Ryan Brady or Chance Hollingsworth. Mathis

Alert: Kappauff is Human.

2006-09-08T06:58:00.000-07:00

Secret photos have revealed a gash in the head of Ron "Foot of Fury" Kappauff -- proving that he, in fact, is human. His future combatant, Derek "Zoolander" Speicher could not be reached for comment and the cause of the gash remains unknown.

Sweet 16 Preview

2006-09-08T06:55:00.000-07:00

Rawlings UFC Sweet 16 Game Analysis Here we are. This is your final 16 combatants. The SWEET 16. From here on out, there are no upsets. Each warrior has earned their place – be it using the brut force of one, the army of Rawlings, an army of little people, or Carol Mark. And the ultimate prize is in sight. This is where we will see who is the Rawlings Group’s Ultimate Fighter. The

Sweet 16 Previews Coming Soon. Who do you like?

2006-09-06T06:52:00.000-07:00

Who's Your Pick to Go All the Way?We'll be posting a preview later in the week, but in the interim, please click on the Comments tab below and let me know your picks...Stay Classy.

An Executive Smackdown!

2006-09-01T05:55:00.000-07:00

Wow, this one didn't go according to the 3 year plans developed by Art "Clubber Wang" Chou. When he entered the new Tech Center Dojo, his heart did a little pitter-patter. And not the normal pitter patters he feels upon entering this space. This one was caused by Brian "Gentle Giant" Hoying, who had arrived early and rearranged all the heavy machinery inside the dojo. (Keep in mind when you

Big Sexy Appeal?

2006-08-31T05:55:00.000-07:00

The new Rawlings Group Tech Center Dojo prepared for the first of two R&D slugfests on Thursday morning. And Curtis "Bambi" Cruz didn't know what was coming. Perhaps he should have looked to the scouting report on Big Sexy... This came in from R&D newcomer Greg Williams, who recently spent several long nights sharing a room with Whiteside. "Sometimes I just lied in bed with my eyes open, out

If an intern gets smacked in the woods, would anyone hear it?

2006-08-30T05:54:00.000-07:00

A UFC thank you to Seth "Purple Nurple" Elrod for his help in keeping the updates flowing while I was out (training of course).Now on to the battle, which many thought had the potential to be the battle of the century. And for #12 Jim "Silent Assassin" O'Connor, that is saying something as he has been fighting for well over a century -- giving him an immediate and palpable edge over #4 Ryan "

UFC - Would El Conquistador leave the Bat Man hanging?

2006-08-30T05:53:00.000-07:00

(Guest Writer: Seth Elrod)Allow me to set the scene: It was one of those mornings when you wish you never would have gotten out of bed. The Maryville baseball field felt colder than usual with a gentle mist that was just annoying enough to make the spectators of yesterday’s UFC match pull out their umbrellas. It was getting lighter, but the sun was not showing. There was tension surrounding

UFC - Fish Fight

2006-08-29T05:53:00.000-07:00

(Guest writer: Seth Elrod)Mondays match between #2 Scott “Big Tuna“ Siebers and #7 David “Zoomy” Zumbach was the closest match to date in the Rawlings UFC. You should be biting your nails before this one even starts. In a fight like this, its who trained the hardest, not who wears the tightest shorts.As usual the match started right on time with surprisingly a smaller crowd on hand than usual,

UFC - Who will Ron have to Drive home this time??

2006-08-28T05:52:00.000-07:00

(Guest writer: Seth Elrod)Friday’s battle between #11 Dan "The Great Adam" Cullinane and #3 Travis "British Bulldog" Gessley was yet another bone crushing battle amongst a string of strong UFC battles, but who’s bone would be crushed this time? The fight started right on time with both contestants meeting in the agreed upon half-way point in the graphics area. Everything was bubble wrapped,

Force Meets Fashion

2006-08-24T05:50:00.000-07:00

Wow. This is a great matchup on paper. I'll start this off with the scouting reports available via the UFC database (located somewhere on Lotus Notes, I think) regarding our two combatants.#4 Tim "Weekend Warrior" Lord - Don't mess with him the first weekend of each month and 2 weeks out of the year, but vulnerable when not on military duty. Has military skills, not afraid to use them, but

Breaking UFC Updates

2006-08-23T05:49:00.000-07:00

A few whispers heard around the UFC:Top Seeded McCartney Injures BackJason "Spanish Blood" McCartney was noticeably gimpy around the office today. His upcoming opponent, Jason "LeRoy Jenkins" Voorhees could not be reached for comment. However, it must be pointed out that his previous victim, Seth Elrod, complained of cramping the day before his fight with Voorhees. Stay tuned.Little Man

Could Ron Close the Deal?

2006-08-23T05:48:00.000-07:00

Ron "Foot of Fury" Kappauff was the #1 seed. Poised to romp his way to the finals. But the question we have for Ron (again) is simple... could he close the deal?Matt "SENB" Bensing stood as the darkhorse. He had completely sucked the will to live out of an intern in round 1 -- reportedly sending the intern back to college for more practice and seasoning. Now he was ready for Ron "Foot of Fury

Winner Gets or Gets to Keep a Rawlings Job

2006-08-22T05:47:00.000-07:00

( by Matt Howell)Wow - Vegas reporting that a phone call from the vacationing Zoomy announced that should the intern win, she would replace Andy at Rawlings. Whoa. Big odds for sure - were the fighters up to the task?Firmly entrenched back in Columbia, Missouri, our intern Allison overslept for the fight just as she has done for all her classes. Before she could even hit the snooze button, she

A Graphic(s) Battle

2006-08-21T05:46:00.000-07:00

I have to admit, this fight was all about posturing. First, Jeff "Schizo Frantic" France claims he doesn't care who wins. Which (for those of you who don't speak hippy surfer) means "Dorsey's going down. And hard." Then, Brian "Death Slide" Dorsey vows to win without rocking the vote, which seems like code for I don't need to rock the vote to beat a crazy hippy. (in reality it is Dorsey using

Voorhees rocks Seth's world

2006-08-18T05:45:00.000-07:00

...and I'm not even talking about UFC.Despite hours upon hours of rowing boats with Tim and daily cardio routines with Robert, Seth "Purple Nurple" Elrod needed more preparation. He spent the past week at his fiancee's school playground, trying to learn some new moves. Moves which he planned to unleash at Jason "Leroy Jankins" Voorhees.The confrontation started innocent enough. Elrod brought