UFC Title Game Begins.

That's right, it is half time of your 2007 UFC title match. The perfect time to settle down for a nice Man Burger and a glass of Monavie. (shrimp flavored)

It's Halloween season, the perfect time for Jason Voorhees. But let me tell you, Denny has seen like every Halloween movie. And he isn't scared. This is a matchup of office super powers. Of movers and shakers. (sometimes equal amounts of both) Voorhees once worked for 3 years as an unpaid intern. (side note: the intern program is now only 11 weeks). Whiteside once worked 3 shifts, only one of which was paid.

This matchup started a long time ago. You see, Denny has another job. Well, several. At Rawlings, he has at last count 14 positions that he currently handles:

Glove R&D Developer
K2 Hall of Fame star maker/thrower
Glove Graphic Designer
Glove Break in Supervisor
Night Watchman
Glove Assistant Product manager
Historian
Security Guard
Inventor
Judge (when disagreements arise between Williams and Farrar)
Actor (starred in Glove Busters and a Cooperstown video, along with past videos that cannot be spoken of)
Sheep Shearer
Inspector #3
Drag Queen (I might recommend staying home on Halloween)

What? Glove Graphic designer? Yes, that's right. This UFC battle has been brewing ever since Whiteside bought a street version of PhotoShop in China on a R&D trip. Denny brings it out to design and develop glove specs, as he puts it. Call it like you want to, but this battle started out as a good old fashioned Graphics Bake Off.

Voorhees brought it early. A tasty concoction of graphics that took some name marketing dreamed up and made it look cool. He then printed it, put it on a bat, and made 16 tee shirt concepts to promote it. Voorhees led 3-0.

Whiteside countered, sending an email overnight (apparently Denny hasn't yet realized he doesn't have to work both during US business hours and Tri Phil business hours) to his Tri Phil attack partners and they sourced a new product concept which was in our offices by noon. 4-3 Whiteside.

John "Grizzly" Baer entered the fray. Apparently he was not happy with either design. While they might look cool, they just weren't practical. His head shake told it all. But then he went in for his patented move, the "Baer" Hug. Wow. This was a painful and awkward move that we just should have seen coming. 2 points for Baer.

Whiteside went back to work, this time shearing a sheep (which he stole from J2 who was obviously busy counting them) and making it into a fluffy yet fashionable coat of armor. Whiteside led 9.5 - 3.5.

Voorhees responded, by ripping away one of his long sleeves. We all knew Voorhees was up for fighting when he showed up for work in a long-sleeved shirt. Long sleeves, you see, are professional, and nicely hide his intimidating man muscles.... and tattoos. As Denny turned to see what that strange noise was, making a ripping sound, Voorhees hit him up (white) side the head with his fully sleeved arm. A nice move on the disco floor and a nice move in the UFC. and, yes, he jazz handed in celebration. This match evened tight at 9.5-8.5 Denny.

Whiteside came back, hitting Voorhees with a thunderous smack from his palm. (no, he didn't feel it. Whiteside had invented a way to insert his hand into the punch that removed the pressure from his thumb - eliminating any possibility of a bone bruise. He then unrolled a huge sheath of leather (not sure if that is proper glove lingo or not), turned Voorhees into a stamp, and pressed out a nice leather version of our graphics prodigy. Whiteside extended a comfy 15.5-8.5 lead.

Voorhees though took that leather and turned it into a battle cape - wearing it more proudly than (almost) anyone had ever worn leather in the office. This battle armor tightened the gap to 15.5-10.5 . As his graphics peers designed battle signs (most of them cleverly drawn), the crowds roared. A special sign designed by Dorsey drove the Hispanic crowd to applaud. Everyone was at their feet as Voorhees jazz handed the crowd. 15.5-14.5!

Whiteside though is used to loud sounds - whether it be the roar of the Harley or the roar of Malloy's cube air warmer, he's heard it all. And he's practically deaf by now anyway. As he put it, "when you're in the zone, you hear nothing." And with that Whiteside peeled out in a thunderous move best called the Wheelie, and best not felt. Unfortunately Voohees felt it.

Halftime.

Whiteside leads 18.5-14.5-2 over Voorhees and Baer.

Stay tuned for tomorrow's finale. And, if you haven't voted, you have one day left.

It's not how you start. it's how you finish.