You've Been Flashed!

This is a crazy time of the month. Time for the accounting team to essentially lock themselves up, shut out from the outside world or even from IM, almost as if they've been quarantined. I learned recently what they do, and I have to say I'm a bit shocked. And this treatment was exactly what Bruce "Bruce" was about to receive as well. That's right, on Friday, both Jarden and Bruce were about to be flashed by the accounting department.

Bruce walked up to the 3rd floor, a walk that had grown a bit tiring in his (mid) age. Sometimes, when Bruce has an errand to run in accounting or maybe just wants to shoot the breeze with J-Lo in credit or Mad Mike in MIS, he misses the old building - where he could simply walk across his room to find these individuals. But now, as he hiked up the stairs, he knew things were getting tougher.

Matt "My flashing style makes the ladies" Howell sat in his office, waiting for his opposition to arrive. As he heard the trudging arrive in his area, he got ready. But he couldn't have been ready for what he saw when Bruce "Bruce" arrived. Bruce had picked up a couple of accounting-types on the way, and entered carrying "Mean" Rich Green in one arm and Elaine "Starting" Bell in the other, like two folding chairs. He entered the room, flinging both Bell and Green into the backpeddaling Howell, leaving a pile of accounting paperwork on the floor and giving Bruce Bruce an early 5-1 lead.

Howell stood up, shaking away his co-workers and the memories of what had caused this disturbance and got to work, accounting style. He gripped his shirt with both hands and lifted both arms, flashing Dickmann in a way reminiscent of that last trip to St Louis Mardi Gras Bruce had chaperoned a couple years ago. The power of this technique, which Howell had named Shock and Awe (emphasis on the Awe) left Dickmann stunned. Later reports on the scene have quoted Dickmann as saying Howell has really nice malacas, whatever that means. The speed at which the flash had ended and a complete accounting tuneup had been given left Howell up 11-6.

In fact, as the tuneup continued (flash followed by a painful attack known as the blind budget cut, which is a seemingly arbitrary budget cut dreamed up by accounting types to torment the non analytical-types, leaving Howell up now 16-8), not much could stop this party... except another party. Just then, an out of control victory party led by Chuck "Nuclear Power Plant" Malloy, whose team had not stopped partying since depositing Mark Kraemer on the UFC scrapheap zoomed by. And anyone who knows Howell knows he has the potential to be distracted by a new party.

Malloy flexed and belched as he left by, draped in a purply silk victory cape. And as quickly as he'd entered, he was gone.

Dickmann had one last energy burst in him. He dropped to the ground and began to drive, noggin first, into the legs of Howell. This surprisingly painful and funny maneuver sent Howell's office chair into its desk as Howell leapfrogged over Dickmann and out into the hallway in an odd matchup that was reminiscent of a Matador versus a Bull. This continued for a bit (charging and escaping) before Dickmann fell asleep, exhausted.

This was over.

Howell wins 21-11-1 over Bruce Bruce and Malloy. Don't worry fans, Malloy will be back.

Howell advances to meet the winner of our next matchup:

#4 Logan Justice (no nickname needed) versus #12 Maya "Make a Left on" Bradstreet.

Second matchup (a Double Dose Tuesday this week): #3 Jason "Graphic Violence" McCartney versus #6 Adam Shupe "rstar"

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And please, put the fire down. or out. don't play with it.