Steven Seagal, Zen, and Superpowers

This fight is the MaIn Event, not the under card. In anticipation for this fight, Steven Seagal actually decided to change the name of his blockbuster 1991 film. Apparently, he is afraid that the title of this film, "Out for Justice", will send the wrong signal and enter himself into a fight that he simply doesn't want. And we all know about those fights you just don't want to make. Maybe it's college basketball and you don't want to play that Ivy League team (or that Missouri Valley Team!). Or maybe it's that office person you just don't want to confront because that might mean having to fill out an art request or (gulp) setting up a part in the system?

This fight had been billed as more than just the battle of the Maryville elliptical machine (this happens every Monday/Wednesday/Friday at lunch - the one on the left is better, apparently). It was more than the right to ruin the UFC dreams for Matt "Makin the Ladies" Howell since 98 (ALUM). This was two UFC beshemoths going head to head. Super Powers versus a Zen Master. No one wants a piece of a super hero, except that is for Maya "Make a Left turn on" Bradstreet. Maya eats girls like Logan for lunch. It's all a part of her wellness protection program.

So, here you go... wellness versus super powers.

Logan started this fight off well, by using Telepathy and knowing exactly when Maya would arrive. This gave her time to head to the parking lot and rearrange all cars (by hand, of course) so that Maya would have to walk longer to get in. Unfortunately for her though, Maya thrives on a bit extra walk - good morning chi, and this extra blast of summer air fueled her morning. The score was even, 2-2.

They met at last in the lobby. Logan moved fast, so fast, almost Dash-like (From the Incredibles silly), enabling her to respond to emails, bird dog a few projects for Tim, and still deliver some painful attack swipes. She led 4-2. Maya responded by meditating, sipping some Earl Grey, gently stretching, and while it sounds too simple to work, breathing. This match was knotted at 4-4

Logan turned on her X-Ray eyes - normally helpful, except security guard Googly Eyes came through - completely distracting Logan and allowing Maya to move into a Pilates routine known as the Hundred, doubling her total and extending an 8-4 lead. Justice shook away the distraction (my polite way of saying "took care of"), leaped into the wall and sprung/accelerated into Bradstreet tying the match again, 8-8.

They locked arms, Bradstreet breathing easily while Justice attempted to clamp down. The score evened again, at 11-11.

Then, in one swoop that i can only call super-duper powerful, Logan jumped into the air, pushed the ceiling up just a tad, reversed course and lobbed herself like a missile into Bradstreet. Both warriors fell to the pseudo-turf ground. In the end, only one could be standing.

Justice prevails, winning 14-13 over Bradstreet in a battle gripped with emotion. She will advance to meet Matt Howell next Thursday, 9/13.