a sexy ride!

Denny purred. Well his bike did, that is. Today was a beautiful day, and he was ready to take it for a ride. Now, if you haven't had the pleasure of riding behind Denny on the bike, let me tell you (well I haven't either, I'm just reading this from the expressions on the faces of people who have!) the view is challenging and you'd better find something to hold onto. Denny's bike is really made for one to own the road, but he made an exception this morning. Whiteside arrived at McCartney's desk, lunged over and in a Fireman's Carry maneuver last seen when France was in better shape, carried the startled but purring McCartney over his shoulder onto the bike.

The next part of the Whiteside ride is simple. You wait until he is affixed in his place and then you climb on. That's what Jason did, because he didn't want to upset D-W. In a move part love and part UFC, Whiteside sent Jason on a UFC roller coaster ride that left Jason's insides in a jungle gym of turmoil. When they arrived back in the offices, Whiteside led 9-3. (Jason had grabbed onto Whiteside a little too tight during the ride, which narrowed the gap just a little)

McCartney is also an inventor, inventing such things as the Lightning glove idea to the waist high sock and the Fenton jacket (which didn't take off). He also, as you know likes to paint (as he dabbled around in Washington and once modeled for a local art class... and by local, I mean inner-company). Anyways, McCartney had invented the battle board. This is a unique tool that allows you to look as if you are working in photoshop while you are, in effect moving a robotic arm into place. This arm operated a lot like the arms do in those machines you find in bars or restaurants (where you try to win a stuffed football by catching it in the clamps). McCartney moved the arm into place, then dove it straight down and it lifted Whiteside to the sky, in a Robotic Atomic Wedgie move that would've made the B.A.B.E. itself happy, if robots could be happy that is. The score knotted closer at 9-8. J Mac got up from his chair, rolled up his cuffs, and leaped in a crazy move last seen in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. The special effects would've been crazy, if Jason needed them. But they were crazy as it was. The Whiteside fell behind 11-9, as he fell off the robotic arm onto the ground.

But Whiteside is bringing the sexy back into the office. Big Sexy in the City, that is. Obviously ready for his movie role, where he'll need no stunt double, Denny rose without even bending his legs. He then reached into his satchel (because all cowboy heroes carry satchels) and pulled out some kind of throwing star which he most obviously had drawn himself in a photoshop-lite type program, then emailed to tri phil, sourced, and had shipped back to him. It was crazy, it was painful, it was unpredictable (ever experience anything like that?) Jason tried to defend himself, but the mad skills on display by the Whiteside were irrefutable. Whiteside roared (or snored) like his Harley as he delivered that fatal blow to the hopes of an all graphics UFC title bout.

Whiteside prevails, 17-12, advancing to the UFC Title Match versus Jason "El Gigante" Voorhees.

The matchup will take place in 2 weeks, like the Super Bowl... as these two are now going on a UFC tour, promoting the finals. Stay tuned for more updates. And, heck, in the meantime, feel free to go and play with fire. Just don't get burned.