a grudge match. seriously.

Wow, this was more than a matchup. This was a matchup of beauty versus beauty. Of a catalog model versus a catalog designer. Of two former interns - one who was forced to leave because Seth's intern experience ended, the other who was forced to leave because it was just getting awkward. Both are now hired and regular employees (as regular as you could call them), but both have that chip on their shoulder, that feeling that the world is against them.

Well, this one started in an awkward spot, Clubbing on a Wednesday. Ryan "The Closer" Farrar checked in at his evening destination, when the burly bouncer asked for his ID. Farrar handed him his wallet. He was promptly tossed from the club, as it is apparently not funny to present a license with your face as a unicorn's. Stupid graphics and this "PhotoShop" program, thought Ryan as he sat on the curb and sipped his smoothie. Voorhees had set the tone, and he had threatened with Ryan's most prized possession: Mojo.

(Side note: Farrar doesn't take missing opportunities to go out lightly. He once skipped a kickball matchup to go out.)

Back to the fight. This was Farrar and Away the most painful start one could imagine for an Elite 8 battle. Voorhees went to work early. And when I say went to work, I mean it. When Farrar entered work (Mojo all off kilter), he reached his cube and found it "occupied". Voorhees had cleverly designed a number (7) that confused the office movers and instead swapped Farrar's office equipment and put it somewhere else. In Ryan's cube, in fact was simply a microwave and a package of partially popped popcorn, along with a note that said (in a fancy font that showed movement and felt techy) "If you want to see something get popped all the way, look in the mirror behind you."

Wow, what could that mean, thought Ryan?

He looked behind him and saw a mirror - obviously moved in from somewhere else. How in the world did that fancy #7 get designed? And where was his stuff? Oh well, he turned around to look in the mirror. But the only thing he saw was his own reflection. Ryan flashed a smile (sometimes he makes himself smile) then suddenly, it came. From behind the mirror jumped a leather-vested adversary (Voorhees, not Zumbach) who delivered a HOH bull-like stampede into the grill of Farrar. Let's just say that Ryan ended up with two fist tattoos, one on each cheek. Wow.

Voorhees led 8-2. He extended the lead to 14-2 as Farrar attempted calling his office phone, trying to locate his new cube. No luck. Anger billowed inside the young Farrar. Do you know how Farrar he'd come? He didn't work so hard as an intern to just lie down and give up. So he popped an energy drink out of his new holdster slot (an innovation Greg Williams devised out of spare leather pieces and leftover scraps from Bob Clevenhagen's Washington toy workshop), slammed it, and felt the vibe of adrenaline surge. He put his weight on his one good leg and body checked the leather warrior across the first floor into the graphics octagon. This cut the gap to 16-8.

There he saw his desk, or at least it looked like his desk - who else would keep a wad of black chew behind their laptop, right? Right. Farrar grabbed his energy chew and popped it in. Voorhees was taken aback by his fearlessness (cutting the gap to 16-11) in putting topsoil in his mouth. But Farrar figured that out. Too late.

When the mood was getting just plain crazy, Voorhees pulled them out. The jazz hands. As he dazzled and jazzled, Farrar became hypnotized. Voorhees stopped, took a quick picture of the dazed Farrar, faked a chef's costume on him, cropped it, cleaned it up, and put it on a flyer Hilton was doing for Buffalo Wild Wings. Then, having finished his work, he completed the job - in the form of a Peg Leg style power knee. He was back at his desk before Jeff France even noticed he'd left. Or so he thought.

Voorhees advances to the title match, edging Farrar in a tighter than it seemed 25-11 victory (no it wasn't.)

Who will he fight? You decide. They are up now:

#3 Jason "Graphics Violence" McCartney versus #1 Denny "Big Sexy" Whiteside

Hit Reply to vote or email to RawlingsUFC@gmail.com.

Good luck.

And don't play with fire. It might crackle and seem fun, but it isn't.