battle on in the howells of justice

Matt "Making Ladies" Howell since (98 ALUM) came in to work a bit ragged, which can happen to a finance guy this time of year. Your eyes hurt from the spreadsheets, your fingers feel as if they're imprinted into a calculator, your mind aches because you can't figure out what day it is in both real month and accounting month languages. It's kind of like playing Tetris when the puzzle pieces start moving really fast. Meanwhile, Logan relaxed as she downed a glass of V8 and confidently stormed into work. Justice needed to be served. And served cold.

Howell was at her desk. They were going to play today's fight on his terms, in a format he likes to call "Truth or Dare."

Justice agreed. She didn't respond (Justice doesn't respond, it simply waits for the moment). Logan was up first, electing a "Dare." Howell in turn dared her to go to the cafeteria and try this morning's special, known as a smashed apple surprise. Justice went down, ordered, and was totally unprepared when Ben "Big Apple" McIntosh gave her an early morning wake-up call, making his morning presence felt as he threw an array of napkins and utensils at Justice and left. Odd but effective.

Howell in turn also elected a "Dare". (Sidebar: what UFC fighter would choose a truth? UFC fighters actually play Dare or Dare) Unfortunately for Howell, Truth or Dare against Logan is much like the original Truth or Dare movie starring Madonna in 1991 - longer than you wish it was, painful to watch, and full of unbelievable dancing. (sidebar: Madonna actually earned a Razzie for Worst Actress in this role) Justice dared Howell to do the splits. He hadn't warmed up, and he couldn't be that flexible right? Howell looked up at Justice (he does give her like 4 inches in this fight), and went down into the splits -- but did it by way of slide tackling Justice on the way. Both hit the floor, Howell in the splits position, as he took an early 4-1 lead. Ka-POW.

It was time for Justice. She took a dare. Howell dared her to go upstairs and steal "General" Lee Lummus' cell phone. (wow) It was apparent that Howell's strategy was to get others to do his dirty work. Justice teleported up to the third floor and found Lummus hiding (working) in his office. She simply looked at him and outstretched her hand. Lee yelped, but was saved (momentarily at least) by Wendy "Johnny" Mathis, who came through to body check Justice before apologizing and moving on. But not before Justice had the cell phone and the lead at 8-4.

Mathis took Lummus' cell phone and called Howell from it. (speed dial 3) His dare was up next and it was different. "Stealth disco Lummus." Now Howell can move in quick, crazy ways (hence his nickname) and he marched up to Lummus' office. Matt looked in, found Lee's blindspot (yes, that one) and grooved. A moment of utter glee swam over Howell. This was his game. It was now 8-6, then 8-7, and then, as he turned around and shook what his momma gave him, he took the lead 10-8.

An alarming sound echoed through the third floor, an unknown individual (records have this person as "Ima User@rawlings.com", which background checks have proven is actually a Rawlings email address record) had sent a virus through computers, causing plane flights (remote control kind) to be delayed and delaying the Rawlings wifi network.

Howell next dared Logan to go and ask a question about setting up a computer for an intern, smirking as he asked. Justice, however was ready. She grabbed a stash of MIS workers and sent them down like Bowling balls on Disco Bowling night Howell's way, stacking him up in a cluster. While he was down, she climbed to the top of the ropes (or cube wall) She began to raise her hands, calling on the crowd noise. She put her hand to one ear (Hulk Hogan style) and then leaped, delivering a flying Billiken elbow drop, silencing Howell and putting an end to this battle.

In the end, you see, this one went to Truth, Justice, and the American Way. Well, I guess I'd change that title to Dare, Justice, and get out of the Way. Justice prevails 18-13. She advances to meet today's winner:

#3 Jason "Graphics Violence" McCartney vs #2 Kate "Pain" Zini