Battle for the honor of the graphics universe

The setup for today's matchup between #3 Jason "Graphics Violence" McCartney and #2 Kate "Bleepin" Ranzini began at the doorway to the castle. The castle you see had been thought by many to contain secrets that would allow you to conquer Eternia. McCartney wanted in. He likes secrets. So he arrived at the castle riding on his large battle cat, Cringer. Now for those of you who do not know, McCartney had already proclaimed himself the most powerful man in the Graphics Universe (or gu as it is known to outsiders) and was set to prove it in this fight. McCartney boasts several powers which reinforce his position of power, including:

• Super Breath, where he blows, using the full-capacity of his lungs, a gust of wind powerful enough to knock over most opponents. Unfortunately, this does not translate into Super Wind, as he does get winded rather quickly on the basketball court.
• The Human Tornado (created with the aid of spinning a sword or small human) can divert objects. This has diverted many an art request onto the desk of other graphics warriors and amused crowds at McCartney family gatherings.
  
• Instant Offense (either describing scoring points in bunches or offending you in a hurry)
• Able to rub his hands together fast enough to turn sand into glass
  

Now Ranzini met McCartney at the gate, decked out in a lovely magenta battle armour full of spikes and wickets. Ranzini carried with her the Orb of Agony - a painful tool that could render her opposition motionless. And she used it on J-Mac early, sending him stuttering backwards, and giving her a 3-0 lead. McCartney though, calmly parked his Battle Cat, disrobed (only his travel garment, of course) revealing his battle outfit and ripped abs. This put a knot in the heart of Ranzini and knotted the score at 3. McCartney then used a Kinetic Immobilizer (KI) technique to stop all motion in the room. This but with the motor Ranzini has (high powered, let me tell you), the KI only slowed her down. This was a tight matchup at 4-4, when the unicorn came in.

The unicorn, hauling the other graphics battle-lord, Jason Voorhees on its back appeared like a shiny star on a rainy night. Voorhees, who is reportedly upset at being referred to as J2 (he claims to be the original), delivered a hit with each of his tattoos (or splashing ink as it's called in the tattoo fight clubs). Anyways, he was gone in a flash and left this crazy fight to continue.

McCartney used this as an opportunity to deploy a couple of battle orbs into the sky, while flexing loudly and then he let it out - the Super Breath technique we warned you about earlier. The breath whipped Kate's hair back in an all-too-unfamiliar manner, extending Jason's lead to 8-4-1. Kate's hair bounced back perfectly, closing the gap to 8-6-1. This ironic sequence of Super Breaths and Super Resilience (of hair) continued like one of those hand dryers in a bathroom that won't stay on long enough. McCartney led 13-11-1.

That's when Jason revealed his Crystal Belt - and with one press of a startling button on that belt, Ranzini dozed over. As in fight over. As in the graphics universe was still in tact.

McCartney wins 15-11-1 over Ranzini and Voorhees. He advances to the finals of the E-Ville Regional against Logan "Out for" Justice.

Up next, your Elite 8! Here's the battle schedules:

TODAY: Chicago Final: #5 Ryan "The Closer" Farrar vs. #10 Becky Shaw "Shank Redemption"

Tuesday 9/18: Rio Final: A UFC 2.0 matchup (you send in your battle description): #12 Lindsey "Knee Brace" Naber vs. #6 Jason "El Gigante" Voorhees

Wednesday and Thursday: Stewing Days (no fighting, just heavy stewing)

Friday 9/21:Sturgis Final: #1 Denny "Big Sexy" Whiteside vs. #6 Wendy "Still Nasty, Not Newlywed" Mathis

Monday 9/24: E-Ville Final: #4 Logan "Out for" Justice vs. #3 Jason "Graphics Violence" McCartney

Now's the time you vote. Hit reply or email us at RawlingsUFC@gmail.com.

I don't care if it's a disco inferno, you still can't play with fire. Dance it out.