Bad Kuato, Bad.

Let me boil the fight that I'll deem the under card into the following bullet points regarding the #3 seed, Jason "Graphics Violence" McCartney:
* He is in the middle of catalog season
* He has an expecting wife at home
* He has an angry growth known as Kuato, who lives inside his right shoulder and comes out whenever necessary
* He has an extra-strong (albeit not durable) back and has been known to pull a plow for his family farm on the weekends when the oxen get tired
* He has been known to get into such a zone where he doesn't remember things, even things like dismantling an opposition, showering, and going back to work to eat at a proper time
* He has a callus under his hand where he keeps a graphics intern that comes out, finishes catalogs, and goes back into place. Rumors have it that might be the person we know as Bill Garbe, but I'm honestly not sure, it could be J2.

Adam started the fight off by emailing the company and telling them to vote for somebody else. Very chivalrous, also very non-UFC like. In fact, this opened the door for McCartney, who saw this as Shupe essentially completing an art request for a painful attack. McCartney responded by photo shopping a picture of Shupe giving him a pair of black eyes and a fat lip. He then carefully printed it out, mounted it on foam core, made Shupe a quick logo (for the demolition series), and placed all of this in a nice blue folder which was laying on Shupe's desk when he arrived into the office.

Shupe saw the folder (and should have known something was up as he did not place a folder on his desk last Friday, plus it was vibrating, almost appearing angry. And folders don't get angry) Shupe started to open it when it was flung open by Kuato, who executed what might be called a Facial, if you were willing to call something so gruesome and painful something so tame.

McCartney/Kuato led 7-2 early. Something had to stop this run...

Kathy "Call of Duty" Lutz was angry. She had won battles like this "ufc" thing years before Shupe or McCartney had emerged onto the Rawlings scene. And now Shupe was egging her on? As if she needed to flex her muscles one last time? But in a moment much like that when Michael Jordan returned from retirement, put 45 on the Knicks, and went back to retirement (or something like that) or when Ryan "The Closer" Farrar came back to pitch the Bad News Bears Rawlings softball team to a victory, Lutz calmly put her own self-recorded voicemail message ON, came downstairs, and delivered a left/right/left/right/left forearm attack to the stunned expression area of Shupe's face, making her 5 point statement before she climbed back upstairs and went back to work. And then she breathed. Wow.

Shupe is a bulldog, a fighter, and he locked down the shorter Kuato with a man to creature defensive attack that brought him back into the game. He followed it up with some slashing moves where he quickly darted in, took advantage of the lumbering nature of McCartney and knifed his way back to a 13-8-5 lead over McCartney (and Lutz). But this would not be enough.

J-Mac (Or the Jason who doesn't have to go by a Number) delivered a solid right shot (along with new graphics for the Caliber/Caliper bat, i'm not sure which one but I'm sure it was one of them and I'm sure it looked much better than Shupe). This battle was over, and now Kuato is hungry.

McCartney wins 15-8-5 over Shupe (and Lutz)., and advances to meet the winner of today's bout:

#7 Suzyn Rae "Agent Orange" Siebert
vs
#2 Kate "Bleepin" Ranzini

Email your vote by hitting reply or sending it to RawlingsUFC@gmail.com

And if you love somebody, why not set them on fire?

(no, you still can't play with them)