Where's Logan? Probably in a Phone Book somewhere

In the Northwest corner: #4 Logan Justice (No nickname needed)
In the Southeast corner: #13 Ben "Spreadsheet Wiz Kid" Schoen
Thumbs up, lets do this.

More super than a super value meal, more super than Barney singing, "Super-de-duper," more super than a male interior decorator saying, "Sssuper" is Super Logan Justice. I mean really, just try and say her name out loud with out being intimidated (you cant). The Spreadsheet Wiz Kid sure sounds like a superhero name, but though he is a handsome and talented individual, Ben may not have super powers…or does he?

When the match started, Logan earned a point for using her X-Ray vision to see what cartoon underwear Ben was wearing. Ben earned a point for not wearing any. (Note: only in the Rawlings UFC can you earn a point for not wearing undergarments. Keep that in mind for the coming rounds folks.) Super Logan Justice then went on a spree of scoring by using her powers to reverse time, change all the street signs between Ben's house and work, and then waiting for Ben arrive…..late because he couldn't find his way. Score: Logan Justice 5, Wiz Kid 1

Ben has his own special powers though. Quicker than Tim Lord to a West Virginia Honky-tonk, Ben organized a spreadsheet of numbers to confuse Logan. The move was cleaver and quick, but it only earned him 2 points because Logan wasn't that confused. Justice 5, Da' Kid (as they call him on the streets) 3.

Now just think about this. What if Logan Justice's persona is simply her alias at work and she is actually more super once leaving the office. Is that even possible? She would have an even cooler, stronger name once she left? Wow, amazing. Logan earns 3 points for the crowd rumors of this.

At this point in the match Ben decided that he better resort to some old tactics that he has known for years. This is a talent you're born with, not one you can learn. He decided to deliver a pizza: Medium, hand-tossed, sausage, mushrooms, and extra pain. He was even there in less than 30 minutes which lead Logan to tip him giving him a couple points. Nice move. After Logan tipped him, Ben delivered the pain. He pushed the pizza in her face (a move he's been dreaming of) that he thought would surely be the end of Justice…too bad Logan was hungry. She swallowed the pizza in one bite (and didn't gain a pound) because that's what super heroes can do. Score: 5-13 with Justice ahead.

They went back and forth with Justice using super powers, Schoen using other tactics (I don't even know how to describe them….but you'd know them if you saw it). The score's now 11-19 with Logan still on top. Could Ben's final moves be enough to pull this fight out? He has the experience, the know-how, the glasses….

The only move Ben still had in his back pocket was to call an old friend of his from the old country (the pro dept.). The Wiz-Kid (does he put more of the wiz or kid in his nickname?) called up Teddy Sizemore for some advice. Now Teddy has been giving Ben advice for years and some of which Ben even pretended to be listening to, so together they developed a plan to take down the one with Super Powers. They would tell Logan that Mr. Ted Sizemore wants to meet her!! She would be star-struck and not be able to move and that would give Ben the chance to pounce on her!! Brilliant!!

Logan came down to Ted's office and stood in the doorway. Ben saw this as his chance to jump, so he did, and got her in a quick headlock. Unfortunately Logan quickly escaped. What went wrong? This was the perfect plan? Well, it seems Logan had no idea who Ted was…..she later confessed that she actually confused him with Sherman from downstairs….a mix-up that worked in her favor. She then killed Ben for trying such a move. The end. Logan wins 20-13 over the lower ranked opponent. Silly Ben trying to fight a superhero. Idiot.

Today's Match-up:
5th Ranked Mark "Leave Me" Malone vs. 12th Ranked Maya "Take a Right on" Bradstreet.

Reply to this email or send your vote to rawlingsufc@gmail.com

Remember: If you're playing with fire drink Kool-Aid so you don't get dehydrated.

Good luck,
-Seth (because Andy's out…I also wrote yesterday's so please send all complaints to me)