A Most Excellent double dose adventure

This day would be the day that the Wyld Stallyns would be put to the test. When we last left William "Bill" S. Preston Esquire and Ted "Theodore" Logan, they were starring in a hit 1991 movie. Now it was time for Bill & Ted to have an Ultimate Fighting Adventure. They would be put to a test in the name of Ryan "The Closer" Farrar and Jeff "I see London, I see" France, respectively.

Bill and Ted entered into a phone booth that was essentially just Sharon Adams' office with a computer in it. They had been in these places before and they knew they were going to need to do a bit of research to help Robert on his History Channel article. Thankfully they were ready for the trip back in time. They crunched together ever so closely (maybe too closely) and picked up the phone. Well almost. Ted called out to one of his girls to dial the number for him. You know, he wasn't sure what year to travel back to, or so I'm told. Back to 1959 they went.

Wow, the gloves were neat, and the ads were cool too. They stopped for some smokes and hung out at the local soda shop. Bill waxed his car and hung his coat over his shoulder while Ted went inside to flirt with the ladies. It was great fun. They noticed on the radio a sudden a great play by a St Louis Cardinal, and decided they'd need to bring in Stan Musial for questioning, so they brought him into the phone booth and it took off.

They zoomed ahead to 1969. There, they stopped in Los Angeles just to watch a couple of baseball games. Ted wanted to make sure we noticed the athletic prowess of their second baseman. Oh this was grand fun, as the two had completely forgotten about Robert's history lesson by now. They watched the game, drove over to watch a KU basketball game (this was their last title season, I think) and hung with the ladies. Then they got back into Sharon's office and something happened. Neither guy could make the office move. They tried to dial support. But neither knew the number - Ted because he doesn't use a computer and Bill because he uses a Mac and is his own support. So they dialed a number at random. They ended up in 1980.

And out into the world they emerged. It was a grand time. A time filled with love and opportunity. Bill & Ted frolicked in the meadows and on the beach. Then it hit them. And by it, I mean the surfboard of a large man. A man with hair golden and long and ever so powerful. His bronze arms were lost in his man-locks. And Ted wanted to pick a battle. He nudged Bill and calmly walked over to the golden warrior (who was apparently Jeff France of 2007 - who had just gone back in time with the specific reason of fighting). Jeff delivered a surfboard to the head and then swept the leg with his pearly white K Swisses. Flash, Flash went the shoes. Ted smiled, apparently thinking he was back in his playing days with the blinding lights being similar to flashes of photography. He smiled again, then it hit him. This was no photo shoot. This was war.

Ted called for help. But he used the phone and the three of them (France, Ted, and Bill) emerged in another year.

Sharon's office zoomed out of control. It was as if it was controlled by an outside force. Something or someone with so powerful a pull that it would call these warriors to it. 1974. The office stopped and a man with a waxy expression and large forearms entered. He punched in Ted and Bill and demanded to be transported to 2006. Apparently he had a young lady to meet in our offices. I'm not sure who this man was or who he was meeting but rumor has it he was the MVP of the National League that year. Rumor also has it he arrived in 2006, flirted with someone, then went back to 1974 to do some bicep curls. The fighters finally dumped off in 2002.

Bill escped to do a little research on a Rawlings innovation - the Vise fielder's glove. He sat in a product development meeting and then went outside to catch some fresh air. Just then, he saw a young man, a baseball player, fresh out of practice. Bill called over to him, maybe to do some testing, I'm not sure. But this young athlete was Ryan "The Closer" Farrar, and he was in his baseball prime - somewhere around 16 years of age at the time. And he was angry. Who was this guy coming into his field, breaking up his routine? And why was he trying to put Farrar into a Vise hold? Farrar and Garbe traded blows back and forth - both very powerful and some more long winded than others. But, with Garbe in mid air about to deliver a Warlock Unlockable Gallantry maneuver, they were sucked in ever so quickly into the office.

And they all finally landed back in the present day, in our offices. The fighters squared off in our offices, and these battles were close. On one side, France and Sizemore were locked in a battle of Golden Locks - the flowing battle shield of France going against the Extra tight perm of Ted. No stylist could decide this victory. It would come down to a final move, one that seemed impossible. France leapt into the air, his legs at 90 degree angles, his heart in his fist and his fist in Ted's smile. Allright.

On the other side, the youthful Farrar was delivering a series of punches that bended with much more movement than the Farrar of today. Much more. And that was impossible for the veteran Garbe to attack.

Ryan "The Closer" Farrar emerged with a 16-13 victory over Bill. And Jeff "I See London, I See" France escaped with a 15-14 victory over Ted. The UFC will not see a Bill & Ted sequel. They forgot to do the history assignment for Robert and this instead fell into the laps of our interns. Geez.

Farrar advances to meet #8 Dan "PEBKAC" Jundt.
France advances to meet the winner of today's matchup:

Unseeded Wes "Padre del Pato" Lukash vs. #10 Becky "Two Turntables and a Microphone" Shaw

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