Make a Right turn Where?

There's always a #12 seed who beats a #5 seed, right? Well, we've already had one with Lindsey "MVP74" Naber outsting Brian Scheele "s apparently not in session". Could there be another?

This was a battle that had been brewing hotter than the coffee Mark "Leave me" Malone picks up each day on his way to work. You see, Starbucks offers you a discount (reportedly 10 cents) if you are willing to bring in your own cup to get refilled. Using some simple financial modeling, Mark could pay for a fancy coffee mug and then some in 36 hours, 12 minutes. Plus he can cause less waste. Maya, like several others on the Rawlings Green Team, was fully aware of this. She waited for Mark from the hole in the ventilation shaft above the water fountains in the hidden hallway Friday afternoon.

Meanwhile, Mark was now walking on his way to the office, steamy coffee in hand, muttering something about tracking ebitda ytd. he texted this to General Lee Lummus (something like omg, check out our ebitda ytd. lol!") as he smirked and took a quiet sip of his beverage. Maya repelled ever so quietly from the ceiling like a spider, or like Tom Cruise from Mission Impossible. Then, in one swooping motion, she leapt, extending her legs into malone's upper torso, grabbing the coffee with one hand and a handful of malone's hair with the other. She led 2-0 for the surprise, 4-0 for the hair, and 8-0 for the coffee theft.

Maya then began to give the first part in her wellness series of lectures. Mark sat attentively/glass eyed as she demonstrated the first steps. I'm not sure about technique, but Maya apparently learned about "wellness" in the streets. Unless the REAL first step to your well-being is to sit silently while your ears are tugged like the arms on an elliptical trainer.) Then Maya got her legs going, slowly walking up Mark to the tune of a 14-0 morning wake up call - and no, it wasn't a tough walk for Maya - the incline level wasn't nearly tough enough for her.

Mark stood, straightening up in his best intimidation pose. (cutting the gap to 14-2 then 14-3 when he added a scowl). But Maya was ready for this. She delivered a punishing repertoire of 100% natural ingredients - good old fashioned pain, not synthetic pain. The real deal. And this was delivered quickly and painfully in precise doses. Maya didn't waste any effort. She saw Mark gimpily standing there, waiting for this to be over. She grabbed Mark and carried him over her shoulders to the copier. She inserted his head under the lid, smashed the lid down a couple of times for good measure and then made one copy. Mark saw a bright shining light pass by his eyes and it was over.

Maya had finished the job. Standing there victorious, to the tune of a 34-3 drubbing of Malone. She left to tally this on an excel spreadsheet task list. (This one was marked simply "Completed.") She advances to a well anticipated UFC matchup against Logan "Halls of" Justice. That one is sure to be ruthless.

Up next: Double Dose Monday

First course: #3 Jason "Explosive Graphic Content" McCartney vs. #14 Greg "Whole Pain Leather" Williams

Second helping: #6 Adam Shupe"rstar" vs. #11 Biju "Cricket Superstar" Mathew in the battle of broken elbow.