improbable matchup is the best in ufc history

I've seen many a fight in my Rawlings UFC career. But nothing at all like this epic, two-day battle known as Tomaszewski-Jundt. Expect to see a rematch. This was a downright nasty battle....

Tomaszewski had spent the days since his dismantling of Debbie Hudgens growing out his sideburns (they are now down to a level 4) and intimidating his future opponents - trust me 6 seed Jason "El Matador" Voorhees knows there are now no boundaries in love and war. The increase in sideburn length caused the UFC governing body to raise the crisis level to level Taco. Just enough to make you sweat. And enough to let those who weren't fighting that danger lurked in the form of a Chicago-trained Southside Bomber known as Bob "Windy City Shocker" Tomaszewski.

Bob arrived at work on Thursday in plenty of time to do a series of pushups near the elevators. It gets the muscles extra ready and also earns a few extra votes on the second floor while serving as a warning to the first floor. He would do one push up, launch himself in the air, look for his prey, clap his hands in mid air, and continue. This was like some crazy boot camp and frightened Jundt when he arrived, still clad in his Spandex biking outfit (he wanted people to remember that he bikes). Tomahawk led 3-0. Then Jundt snapped his biking outfit strap into his own arm, demonstrating a combination of mental toughness, craziness, and a willingness to inflict pain on pretty much anyone. The snap of the spandex knotted the score at 3.

These two refused to get into a fight, preferring to snap and clap their way through the day although Tomaszewski did end the day with a rather loud grunt, giving him a slight edge. At the end of one day of fighting, Tomaszewski led 7-6.

DING. Round 2 began, and that ding was also the sound of Bob's computer apparently crashing. He called support. MIS loved this - a sign of weakness. What #1 seed needs help? Suzyn talked gentlely to Bob, signalling to Jundt that Bob was now in his cube. Bob was asked for to remain patient while someone came down to reboot his system. But little did he know this rebooting would actually result in Dan "PEBKAC" Jundt delivering a complete system refresh to Bob. This is a very painful technique that started by cleaning Bob's cache and then downloading a new operating system known as Jundt 2.0. Jundt 2.0 is a powerful tool that few understand, and has been known to crash many who tried. This installation concluded with a synch all of Dan's battle moves onto Bob's memory - delivered in a series of painful back strikes that resulted in Bob being deposited into the computer hospital. Jundt led 16-8.

Bob got up, angry. He began to rant at levels not seen by anyone this side of Washington. And when bob rants, people move. Bob began to pick up any MIS associate he could find, leaving a pile of employees, computers, and files on the ground of Jundt's cubicle. The battle raged on, now tied at 16.

Tomaszewski flexed, ripping a button from his shirt. He moved ahead 19-16..
Jundt flexed, expanding his spandex bike suit just enough. The score tied at 19.

Tomaszewski climbed to the top of the cubicle wall, quickly calculated a forecast, and then delivered this forecast on schedule, on target, and onto the waiting head of Dan in the form of a Tomahawk Leg Chop. He led 25-21. Impossibly, Jundt retailiated, delivering a head but followed by a cackle, again tying the score at 25.

All this fighting had Bob winded. He sat for a moment to relax. Jundt sat as well. Then, in a move unexpected by most (but not all) UFC fighters, Bob leapt into Dan's lap, delivering a motorboat of pain into Jundt's head. Tomaszewski took a 29-25 lead. And, in an equally improbable move, Jundt reached behind his chair, and in one motion, dumped his chair to the ground, elevating Bob in mid air, grabbed both of Bob's legs and put him in a reverse wheel barrow carry before driving both bodies into the ground.

30-29.

Only one man was able to get up.

But who?

Improbably, it was #8 Dan "PEBKAC" Jundt. He advances to meet the winner of today's first matchup (Garbe vs Farrar) on 9/6...

Up today, Double Dose Monday:

Appetizer: #13 Bill "WoW" Garbe vs. #5 Ryan "The Closer" Farrar

Main Dish: #3 Jeff "I see London, I see" France vs. #11Ted "Teddy Ballgamer" Sizemore

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and, no matter what you hear is cool, don't play with fire. it just ain't.