Home Remodeling day for the UFC

Suzyn Rae "Agent Orange" Siebert sat in her third floor cubicle armed and ready. She had completed a much-needed school supplies drive (or at least initiated one) perfectly synched with her bout. She planned a speech to the Rawlings employee base a mere two weeks ago, and was sure to flex several times while giving it. She hadn't really given much thought to the UFC, let alone that her first bout was today.

Just then, a loud PING came from her computer. (Side note, just like those in R&D or Bat Testing might know that their bat has a slightly different ping or thud with each bat/ball connection, each IT person recognizes their computers unique pitch to the ping.... and that sound was Suzyn's!)

With the courage of Bat Man answering the Bat Call, Suzyn logged into check out the problem. The subject line read simply: "PAIN" Who had sent this?
lliverar@rawlings.com? That's weird thought Suzyn, still cheerful at this early hour. She then read the message:

"Need my face realigned. And pronto." was all it said.

Was that really from Liz? Or was it from an IT co-conspirator (my money's on Mike Imel) egging her on, encouraging her, reminding her of her battle call? You see, as we learned in Dan "PEBKAM" Jundt, the IT factor is very powerful.

Suzyn sprung to action, stopping by her car to pick up the necessary remodeling tools she had borrowed from her husband....

Meanwhile, Liz was calmly entering the building (no, she hadn't logged onto email yet) when she was greeted at the door by an unhealthy but sturdy 2 x 4. Wow. As Suzyn continued to unpack a crazy amount of building supplies, demoing each product on the gentle Liverar (yes, each 2 x 4 has a different sounding thud too), Siebert built an early 10-3 lead.

That's when Liverar escaped. She's pretty quick, for those of you who didn't see her in the Race for the Cure. And she can escape a cubicle or a camel clutch hold without making a sound. This escape tightened the gap, to 10-4.

Liverar went back to her computer and had some work of her own to do. She printed 15 of those special order glove forms out onto the color printer. But she chose legal size paper and quickly inserted in thick cardstock letter size into the printer. Within seconds, Liverar had created the IT person's worst nightmare... The urgent paper jam.

Downstairs erupted in chaos. Support tickets came in like entries into the Glove of Gold Raffle. Rich Truex's phone line lit up faster than Kelli's at the front desk. Presentations were going on and no one could print. Madness hit the first floor. And Siebert could not even react when Liverar delivered a tomahawk chop to her head. She could do nothing but take the smacks and work on the jam. Liverar tied the matchup at 11 and then took a 12-11 lead.

But, then, something crazy happened. What first looked like a copier technician arrived to handle the chaos. But, no, it wasn't a technician. It was Dennis "re" Turner coming to solve the problem. He stared angrily at the copier. It sensed danger and began to work. I love technology.

And that left Siebert free to finish the job. She put Liverar in a Wooly Mammoth takedown move - awkward and uncomfortable in this heat, trust me. And once she was down, Siebert quickly maneuvered Liverars body into the hated Figure 4 hold. Liz lay motionless, struggling, and then gradually growing sleepy.

Liverar sat back at her desk, heard a ping and saw the email: Your support ticket has been closed.

Siebert advances to meet today's winner: #2 Kate "Bleepin' Ranzini" versus #15 Julie "Aunt Ant" Antry. Hit REPLY to vote or email your vote to RawlingsUFC@gmail.com.

And, pretty please. Don't play with fire. Unless you're licensed.

As a side note, the Rawlings MIS group has advanced out of the first round with a perfect 2-0 record, clearly making their case as the group that is under-represented in the UFC field. Let's see how they do in round 2!