A final 1st round matchup

Here we go...
How do you crush an ant?

Kate "Bleepin" Ranzini entered this morning in a foul mood. Well I'm not sure if it was her mood that was foul, but it certainly was her mouth. She cussed out the security guards for looking at her strangely (apparently she missed out on Seth's Googly Eyes write up - that's just how he is). She kicked in the downstairs door (note: your security codes will not work between 6 am and 6:30 am tomorrow as the door is repaired) Then, she picked up a whole bunch of stuff from Ted's office (not sure what she hides in there but rumors have it that it serves as a great offsite storage facility for her, and plopped them down, shot put style... into the running legs of Julie "Illegal" Antry, who was trying to run a series of reports for someone. Who knows who, but I'm told they were important.

Ranzini's pile drop took out Antry, giving her a commanding 6-0 lead. (not just for the take out but also for messing up the order of Antry's entries).

Antry tried to play nice, choosing to fight Ranzini at her own game - with her voice, calling her Kate Ran Weeny (props to Elrod for that nickname). This clever comeback narrowed the score to 6-3. But RanMeany went to work...

And by work, I mean she began to attack Antry with a series of apparel mannequins, all attacking from different angles, none with heads, all with strange positions, and all very difficult to set up. This was crazy. I've not seen so many mannequins attack since I witnessed Dan Cullinane setting some up at a Sales Meeting years ago... The attack of the mannequins ran the score up to a surprising 19-3 lead.

Then, Antry got wise. She attacked Ranzini by first shredding the lead blocker mannequins and then by going at her with a lead kick that would make any Peg Leg proud. (well anyone but Ron) Stunned, Ranzini stepped back and then Antry came at her again, putting her into what is known in product lingo as a M2 Margin Hold. And, trust me on this, good luck getting out of this hold when Antry clamps down. And good luck finding anyone else who understands what this hold is, let alone how to get out of it. I can't describe it. All I can say is it's painful and permanent. Or so it felt. The gap narrowed to 19-14 on a 11-0 Antry run.

But then, somehow, Ranzini escaped. All I can attest it to is some sort of system glitch. I'm not sure, but Ranzini escaped to fight again, winning this one 22-14.

She advances to the 2nd round to meet: Suzyn Rae "Agent Orange" Siebert.

And, with this beating, the first round is complete.

Up Next: A UFC off date.

Next Matchup: FRIDAY 8/17: Chicago Regional 2nd Round

#1 Bob "Windy City Shocker" Tomaszewski vs. #9 Dan "PEBKAM" Jundt

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And, do the cool thing. Don't play with a fire. They should be put out. Geez.