Pro Pain starts a fire

It is moments like today that we realize the gladiator spirit that exists in our offices, and that is the heart and soul of the Rawlings UFC. It was mid-afternoon and your third-favorite (after Seth and Greg W) UFC commentator (that would be me) was casually sitting at his desk when he was dive bomb attacked by something that was a mix of wasp, hornet, and angry centaur. Whatever it was buzzed through my hair twice, forcing me from my seat in a scurry. Lindsey "MVP74" Naber came in to see what had happened only to be head butted by this angry creature. She left faster than she did after meeting Steve Garvey's wingman.... "Six Degrees of" Dan Cullinane came in for a look and was drawn back in a frenzy as well. That set the stage for the gladiator.

Barb "Pro Pain" Foerstel entered my office armed with a war club/magazine. Her eyes circled the office and zeroed in on the intrudor. She leaped in the air and delivered a thunderous blow, knocking the flight out of this animal and saving the day for the west wing of our offices. I can best describe this attack as instantaneous and ferocious. Breathtakingly crazy. Like an alligator snapping at a drinking caribou. Wow.

A little foreshadowing?

Yes.

Adams checked in early today. It was another day in the office for her and she was ready to fight. She cracked her knuckles in anticipation as she waited near the Pro Department. A little work had allowed her to change the security keypad -- this should keep Foerstel out of the offices for awhile. Adams led 2-0.

Unfortunately though, she hadn't planned on someone leaving the offices and allowing Barb to sneak in - her plan was never executed... unfortunately she was about to meet what I could best describe (and later witnessed) as a Flying Foerst Fire attack. Barb took a drop step move last seen when Bruce "Bruce" Dickmann took to the basketball floor but with more force. She used a cube wall for balance as she levitated above the wall and came down with a thunderous magazine club. (taking a 6-2 lead). She rattled the pages as she hit the ground, creating the sound of a fire crackling (make that 12-2).

Adams screamed. She wanted a Second Chance. Then, as if it were choreographed, "2nd" Chance Hollingsworth entered the room. He snarled as only Chance snarles reached out and set the most illegal screen I've seen since Bruce "Bruce" Dickmann set out on the basketball court. He made his point and then left.

Adams looked at Foerstel and flexed. An Angry Flex. She was used to being boxed in. She once worked for 6 months in a storage closet. And she used that experience to her advantage, grabbing two walls and walking up Foerstel from the knees to the grill with a hiking path attack, revealing her tattoo in the process. (no, it wasn't of Mark Barry - that one is for J TWO only).... the gap narrowed to 12-6, then 12-7.

But Barb was ready. She crackled again, bouncing like a ball in pong from wall to wall to Adams. and again to wall to wall to Adams. Crackling the magazine pages and eventually crackling the Adams. She hissed in victory with a 24-7-1 win over Sharon "Bad to the Bone" Adams and "2nd" Chance Hollingsworth and advances to meet today's winner between:

#2 (and defending UFC champ) Travis "Back to Back" Gessley versus #15 Jan "Redbird Attack" Grundig

Hit REPLY to vote and do the cool thing. Don't play with a Foerstel Fire.