Ever been to a Milwaukee Brewers game? Let me tell you, if you haven't, there is a special treat for the fans. It's called the Sausage Race. They have special mascots, decked out in the outfits of Chorizo (a delicious but spicy Hispanic sausage) named "Cinco", a Polish (a tasty delicacy of Europe) named "Stosh JonJak", and the Brat named "Brett Wurst" (a must have for any tailgate). Sometimes there is even an Italian Sausage named Guido and a regular hot dog named "Frankie Furter".. here's a picture for you!
Now these mascots don't just run. They bump into each other, fighting for their very own sausage glory. Well, this was a good old fashioned Rawlings sausage race today....On one hand we had Robert "Sausage" Neaus. (no, i'm not sure how he got that nickname.) On the other side we had Paul "Wray Wurst" Ray. And these two fighters wanted it. Badly. They had quite an obstacle course to make it to the finish line. Both men donned oversized foam sausage costumes, measuring over 7' tall, and weighing roughly 25 pounds each. They made their way to the showdown spot - Maryville University's baseball field. The race path was set by Seth Elrod, who likes to set racing paths. They were to sprint down the warning track, around home plate, and end at first base.
And they were off. Wray Wurst got off to an early lead, but he was quickly bumped into by Neaus, who showed some clear signs of agility despite his relative lack of vision inside the suit. With the score tied at 2-2, Neaus knocked away Ray's glasses. (Not quite sure how he did this, but Ray was later seen scurrying around Maryville looking for his glasses.) Neaus extended his lead to 7-2 as he made his way towards the infield. But what he didn't expect to find was an assist from a former combatant. Apparently fuming from his defeat yesterday, Tom "Ashes" Asher delivered a poke to the midsection of the Sausage, sending oozing goodness to the turf and slowing up the pace of the leader.
Wray Wurst shortened the gap to 9-6.
For those of you who don't know, Maryann "What you talking about" Whitis has family up in Wisconsin. She's got a direct link to this madness. And she's got easy access to a trip line - the easiest way to knock over two racing sausages. One strategically placed trip wire was lined across the battleground, near home plate. Why? I'm honestly not sure, but Whitis has apparently made a push to make certain we're aware she has the brawn and savvy to compete for a slot next year. Neaus and Ray were mere pawns in her hand, as they plunged to awkward spills. 1 point for Whitis.
But the sausages keep on racing and the fans began to vote, following along online on web cams and streaming video sites.
Just when the votes began to egg these two racers into a fury, the system went down. Why? No one knew for sure, but there was a smile coming from the face of Dan "My email address is not support@rawlings.com" Jundt. It was a long outage - enough to get Jundt's name in the public's mind (nicely timed) just two days before his battle against "The" Mark. His network explosions delivered 4 points and sent throngs of calls into the support line, which incidentally is not extension 2799.
Sometimes things stack up against you. And for Wray, this system outage was a bigger deal. Why? Because the interns didn't have phone lines.
Neaus sprinted to first base and won the battle, 16-11-4-1-1 over a field of obstacles that included Ray and associates.
Neaus advances to meet (or is it meat?) the top seed, Bruce Dickmann on Tuesday August 7th.
Up next: The Chi-Town regional!
Bob "Windy City Shocker" Tomaszewski versus Debbie "Pay Role" Hudgens.
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