UFC Title Match Begins

Wendy "Nasty Newlywed" Mathis began to tire of the stories and legend growing regarding Travis "British Bulldog/Monster Truckin" Gessley. She had to constantly sit at her desk, crank up the (soft) rock and try to drown out the gushing coming from neighbor Seth "Purple Nurple" Elrod's cube.

"I can't believe Travis crushed a cow." "I can't believe Travis smashed a pig." "I can't believe Travis crushed the will out of Denny Whiteside." "I wonder if Travis helped Dan's wife crush his rib?"

ENOUGH.

It was time to act. And, coincidentally, there was a large meeting in the showroom yesterday. So Mathis marched down to the showroom, walked into the room, and offered to clear the table. (of soda cans, that is)... She took the cans, one by one, drove them to her head, and smashed them into tiny little bite-sized pieces simply with her forehead.

It was definitely a fireworks display the likes of which haven't been seen in this new building. Most importantly though, the playing field was leveled. Both of our title warriors are capable of crushing things, and both aren't afraid to show it.

Mathis left the showroom and marched down to Gessley's office, carrying her boombox on the shoulder - this time getting the thing going with a little "Footloose" by Kenny Loggins. (yes, this made Derek "Zoolander" Speicher do a little dancing in his cube as she marched past.)

She flung Gessley's door open and yelled "It is ON."

Gessley stood to greet her, extending his hand to wish her luck. Mathis took his hand, squeezed, and flung Travis over her left shoulder (for Good Luck, of course.) Gessley crashed into the wall, falling behind 2-0.

Gessley stood up in a hurry, refusing to dust himself off. He jumped up to the top of his desk, flexed, and leaped, knee first into Mathis, evening the match at 2-2. They exchanged false compliments (you know the kind, and man can they hurt you.) "You're tougher than I thought," said Gessley sarcastically of course. "I like your shirt," said Mathis, obviously envisioning how well it would look after being smashed in battle....

They escaped to the open area near graphics with the score netted at 4-4.

Mathis set her stereo down, as Loggins delivered a little "Thunder Zone," and she delivered a thunderous display of her own, picking up Gessley and giving him what is known by Tomaszewski as the Polish Airplane. (let's just say the plane isn't airborne long)... Gessley hit the turf, then saw the Mathis drop coming - Mathis incidentally has a greater drop than any Worth or Rawlings bat, although upon contact Gessley REALLY felt the sting. He fell behind 11-5.

Gessley peered to the side and saw his opportunity. He picked himself up slowly, dropped down slowly, and back up - doing a few push ups to get his blood flowing.... and then, ready as he was, he rose. Gessley rearranged all the tables to create some space. He then leaped atop one of them and began to jump up and down in an odd and scary routine. (a bit odd since the boombox was still on and blaring a bit of Quit Playing Games (with my heart)). But BSB aside, Gessley was getting himself ready. And in a move learned no doubt by Tim "Weekend Warrior" Lord, he was climbing to high ground to observe the battle scene. He saw his opening and leaped down and began to pull Mathis' hair. Hit her where it will hurt the most....

The score was tied at 13-13, when a surprise delivery arrived downstairs. Elaine "Iron Fist" Bell arrived in the hallway, with a couple of expense checks to sign. But when Gessley and Mathis looked at the total they would be receiving, they saw no dollar signs. All they saw was a scanned photo of Elaine's Iron Fist. They didn't even have time to sign. It was delivered. And with two thumps to their respective heads, Elaine took off down the hall, no doubt pleased that she had sent her message clearly.

But this match was FAR from over. (It was only 9 am) Stay tuned for the conclusion...