A Crazy Aerial Firestorm and a Man in Curlers Rock the UFC

Ted "ROY 1969" Sizemore arrived at work early. He was very psyched - we're getting near the big Anniversary of the Rawlings Gold Glove Award (don't miss that presentation - sorry for the reminder plug), AND one of his girls was fighting. In fact, he got in so early that he still had his curlers in his hair.... Early and ready for the Silent Assassin to enter the building. And when Jim O'Connor came in Sizemore read the sign much like he did over 50 times in the 1970s and went sprinting to steal that base. At the last instant, he tucked his leg into a menacing slide, taking out O'Connors legs before he could even THINK about getting that throw off to first. Or check his email. Or grab a coffee - whatever he wanted to do first this morning. Sizemore then left the area.

O'Connor, in a bit of a daze, was unable to right himself quickly... laying on the ground in the main lobby of the Rawlings Group, when Kate "El Conquistador" Ranzini arrived. Kate quickly dropped her thunderous travel bag onto Jim's stomach not once, not twice, but three times and left the room with an early 3-1-1 lead over Jim (and Ted).

Kate returned (with her headset on and ready), Jim had moved - now hiding in a piece of shrubbery in the lobby, waiting for his snipe attack. Kate saw him and began her approach - pretending of course that she did not see him. Where are you Jim?

But then, with no warning, the wind began to pick up in the lobby, a storm was brewing. And suddenly, plummeting faster than a falling meteor was Bruce "Bruce" Dickmann. In a UFC never-before seen Towering Swan Dive (or for Bruce's forcefulness, more like a Towering Swan Belly Flop), completely wiping out both O'Connor and Ranzini, and giving himself a 4-3-1 lead over the two regularly-scheduled combatants. Dickmann's force shook the faux bricks from the walls of the entryway, and like a ghost, he vanished into the elevator.

Ranzini went to work on O'Connor. She calmly put her caller on mute and took his leg, twisted 180 degrees around and lifted it into the air, driving her elbow into his knee and giggling, before returning to her call - complete with a 5-4-1 advantage. O'Connor has had his own experience with angry callers, and took advantage by cranking up the volume on Ranzini's headset - a cruel move as it, synchronized with a leg sweep completely through off Ranzini's sense of balance, giving O'Connor a quick 6-5-4 lead.

Suddenly, from the balcony came another move from Dickmann. He started in perfect tuck position -- in which Bruce kept his body bent at the waist and knees, with his thighs drawn to his chest and his feet close to his buttocks. He moved, his body in perfect harmony as he gently twisted and twisted - finally extending in a move that would extend his degrees of difficulty to unseen levels - at least unseen to any of us -- Jim and Kate felt this difficulty head on. The resulting collison added points to Dickmann's score (even the Ghanan judge gave him a 9.8) -- and giving him a 9-6-6 lead as he disappeared again into the elevators.

Now, Ranzini was fuming. Contrary to common perceptions, her phone reception extends all the way upstairs... So she climbed the stairwell, went into the customer service department, hauled Dickmann into the lobby - out of his comfort zone. And began to yell. Not calm, happy yells either. Painful ones. (and Dickmann has heard the yells before. He tried to pretend to sleep. But this wouldn't stop it.) The yelling - coupled with a few painful pokes to the chest fueled a rally that evened the score at 9-9-8. (O'Connor benefited from having the time to rejuvenate himself)

Dickmann looked more confused than the last time he held a basketball outside the 3 point line - and that was before Ranzini went berserk. She did what started out as a cute cartwheel and ended with a painful ninja-style scissor kick to the side - knocking out Bruce Bruce and giving herself a commanding 16-9-9 lead.

She went back downstairs, headed to her desk. This match was over.

Or was it? It is very difficult to handle an aerial assault when you are trying to fight on the ground. And Dickmann flew in with one final move, the Triple Lindy. He started on the railing and jumped, flipping in mid air as he made a resounding hissing sound. He landed on the far right side of the railing and then sprung quickly again, building momentum. He flipped, dropping elevation ever so slighly, and steadying himself on the platform before he delivered the contact - like a screen on the basketball court - completely lifting Ranzini and O'Connor from the ground and depositing them in a heap near the door. They could not recover. Dickmann pulls the upset, 20-18-7-1 over Ranzini, O'Connor (and Sizemore). He rocketed himself right back into this crazy UFC, and now advances to meet the winner of our FINAL Sweet 16 matchup:

Denny "Big Sexy" Whiteside versus Brian "Gentle Giant" Hoying.

Email your vote to RawlingsUFC@hotmail.com

Good Luck.