Big Sexy Appeal?

The new Rawlings Group Tech Center Dojo prepared for the first of two R&D slugfests on Thursday morning. And Curtis "Bambi" Cruz didn't know what was coming.

Perhaps he should have looked to the scouting report on Big Sexy... This came in from R&D newcomer Greg Williams, who recently spent several long nights sharing a room with Whiteside. "Sometimes I just lied in bed with my eyes open, out of fear really. The sounds that came out of Whiteside weren't natural. There was a certain hunger, a certain crazy energy that I didn't want to experience. It was like he'd swallowed his own Harley."

What Williams was referring to, without realizing it, was what is known in St Charles as the Big Sexy Shimmy. And Denny let it loose tonight.

Curtis entered the dojo early, laced up his black belt, and waited. As Denny entered the dojo, Cruz delivered an impressive bicycling summersault to the midsection -- landing a nice safe distance away from the backpeddling Big Sexy. Let me tell you, that's a tough blow to take so early in the morning -- and a 1-0 lead for Cruz. The two traded high-powered jabs for awhile. (this was done R&D style, with Dennis Turner around measuring their swing speeds). This brought us to a 2-2 draw. Suddenly, the doors to the tech center flew open and Carol "Off the" Mark stood with her back calmly lit by the rising sun. She walked in quickly and began to poke around at the two warriors, sizing them up -- obviously trying to determine which side was more worthy of her support. At that she lifted the stack of envelopes she was carrying and delivered a painful and odd smack to the face of Cruz. She smiled, playfully, at Big Sexy and took off.

Big Sexy is known for taking any opening and running with it. And this time he really caught Cruz off guard. For those of you not 'in the know', Curtis was/is a huge fan of the Wonder Years. And Whiteside is ALWAYS in the know. He sped off quickly, diving behind the temporary R&D changing screens. When he emerged, he stood front and center before Cruz dressed head to toe as Winnie Cooper.

Curtis' heart began to flutter rather quickly. It hadn't pounded like this since the episode when Kevin and Winnie enter high school and go their separate ways. He stared, pondering, at Whiteside his mind doing a virtual slideshow of his past. Denny began to move in - as if for that peck on the cheek. But what came through was no peck.

Whiteside delivered a thump on the back of Cruz's head, sending his head down into the body of Big Sexy. That's when the music started. Whiteside began to shake and shimmy in what is known to many as a victory dance, to Cruz as pure pain, and to Greg Williams as yet another reason to stay awake. Meanwhile Cruz remained in his stuppor. He seemed to emerge for a second - but could only manage a smile (worth giving him half a point I guess). Whiteside romped to a 10.5 - 3.5 victory.

It was another Big Sexy Lovefest -- 10.5 - 3.5 - 1 over Cruz and Mark. Whiteside advances to meet the final entrant into our Sweet 16: The next matchup:

#2 Brian "Gentle Giant" Hoying versus #3 Art "Clubber Wang" Chou

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Good luck.