This was ugly.
UGLY.
Perhaps the first real upset happened today. Not so much of an upset in terms of seeding, but in terms of overall pummelling, this matchup took it to a new level.
Today was a dark, dark day for our accounting department. 10th-seeded Bob "Capone" Tomaszewski delivered pain all day long. It started innocently enough. 7th-seeded Lee "Kelly Clarkson" Lummus had just picked up his cell phone to text a few people and remind them to vote for him today when the darkness struck. Speaking a language best described as half Chicago, half Spanish, Tomaszewski smacked the phone out of Lummus' hands and went to work.
By taking out Lummus' texting fingers, he quickly rendered his counterpart helpless. Bob brought his well-known, yet underrated Windy City shimmy maneuver into full effect. I cannot go into full details on what this entails, short of to say that it involves a lot of twisting and can occasionally involve a wrench.
In the end, Capone dominated Lummus to the tune of a 22-2 final. And it wasn't that close.
Tomaszewski advances to meet Bruce "Bruce Bruce" Dickmann in a clash of titans on Tuesday, 8/16. This will be a battle for the ages.
Tomorrow's matchup pits Pam "Pan" Klostermann against Bill "Sunshine" Garbe.
Send your votes to RawlingsUFC@hotmail.com
Good luck.

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