It was just as you might imagine, two women scrapping away for their pride (and their hope for a fat Rawlings contract) by proving themselves tougher in the UFC competition...
Julie Tindle, wearing her stileto shoes which still had remains of Nick Eckelkamp's scarred body on them, entered the ring first. (She actually was the only combatant in our offices today). Allison, "Big Al" Steinman came in later, and a bit on edge after spending many hours thinking about possible rush candidates for her sorority (and which of her fellow interns might pledge -- my guess is Bolhafner, but that is another topic)...
Tindle quickly went to work, with a few swift kicks and lots of screaming, which clearly put Big Al into a tailspin, as she fell behind 3-0. But Allison didn't get her nickname by being little... Steinman came back quickly and tackled Tindle to the ground (no doubt the only way she could reach the towering Tindle) and began to go to work. She fought dirty - plucking eyebrows and keeping Tindle pinned (and of course, lots of clawing) Big Al stormed ahead 8-4.
That's when another strange entrant came into the mix. Ben "Black Beauty" Schoen entered the mix, clearly set to get a few cheap shots in after being bounced in the early rounds. He snuck up from behind and emerged with a yet unseen double choke slam -- taking both combatants to the turf and reminding them to think twice before siding with Matt "Number Puncher" Howell again. To clarify that they would think twice, he actually choke slammed them again before leaving.
When Schoen had left the building, Tindle and Steinman exchanged hair pulling routines and dirty looks for the next 30 minutes. Steinman excelled at the dirty look category and took home the victory with a 12-8-2 victory over Tindle (and Ben).
Tindle advances to meet Andy "Tower of Power" Pawlowski in the next round.
Next matchup:
Matt "WASB" Bensing versus Brian "Today's my last Day" Correnti, as the contests swing to the Product Kings Region.
Email your vote to RawlingsUFC@hotmail.com
Good luck.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Friday, July 28, 2006
Bridezilla Goes for the Bouquet - Naber/Dorsey Rock the Vote
Lindsey "Bridezilla in Training" Naber has been practicing for years now. The bouquet goes up and she turns into an angry sandstorm, willing to toss the carcass of any seven year old (or forty year old) who gets in her path. The pictures have become legendary, and she has begun wearing weighted training jackets to allow for more strength at that moment of attack.
When the bouquet was tossed to start this matchup, she came out like she always does, using her raptor reflex move to snap quickly at Brian "Death Slide" Dorsey and move him into the fetal position. Naber rumbled to a 3-0 lead, which she would not relinquish as she and Dorsey began to trade jabs. Naber clung to an 11-10 lead before Dorsey began to regroup.
You see, the UFC is a test of endurance. Of gumption. Focus. and of pure craziness. It is all about who wants it more, not who gets that first jab in.
Dorsey has been training in the most remote regions of the world and of Webster. He is not distracted or hindered by such modern devices as cell phones like Derek might be. And he used this focus to begin his assault on Naber. First he came in quietly, almost tiptoeing his way into position. Then, he delivered a sound dosage of pain. Unfortunately for Ms. Naber, she overdosed on Dorsey's Pain.
Dorsey came through with some crazy spinning mojo that you honestly would have to see to believe. He attacked from the air, predominately, and when the dust cleared and the room emptied, all that remained was a defeated Naber and a 23-17 victory for Dorsey.
A UFC-record 40 votes were cast.
Dorsey advances to meet Jeff "SchizoFrantic" France in the next round.
Monday's Matchup:
Allison "Big Al" Steinman versus Julie "Do we have to work tomorrow?" Tindle
Email your vote to RawlingsUFC@hotmail.com
Good luck.
When the bouquet was tossed to start this matchup, she came out like she always does, using her raptor reflex move to snap quickly at Brian "Death Slide" Dorsey and move him into the fetal position. Naber rumbled to a 3-0 lead, which she would not relinquish as she and Dorsey began to trade jabs. Naber clung to an 11-10 lead before Dorsey began to regroup.
You see, the UFC is a test of endurance. Of gumption. Focus. and of pure craziness. It is all about who wants it more, not who gets that first jab in.
Dorsey has been training in the most remote regions of the world and of Webster. He is not distracted or hindered by such modern devices as cell phones like Derek might be. And he used this focus to begin his assault on Naber. First he came in quietly, almost tiptoeing his way into position. Then, he delivered a sound dosage of pain. Unfortunately for Ms. Naber, she overdosed on Dorsey's Pain.
Dorsey came through with some crazy spinning mojo that you honestly would have to see to believe. He attacked from the air, predominately, and when the dust cleared and the room emptied, all that remained was a defeated Naber and a 23-17 victory for Dorsey.
A UFC-record 40 votes were cast.
Dorsey advances to meet Jeff "SchizoFrantic" France in the next round.
Monday's Matchup:
Allison "Big Al" Steinman versus Julie "Do we have to work tomorrow?" Tindle
Email your vote to RawlingsUFC@hotmail.com
Good luck.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Worth Brand Team Shakedown
Today's Headlines:
Worth Brand Team Battle for Supremacy
Crazy Hippy Man Attempts to Join Fight
The stage was set. Seth "Purple Nurple" Elrod had been training. He had gone on daily runs with Robert for his noon-time high and rowed his rowboat around Forest Park with Tim. Meanwhile, Jeff "Worth Unicorn" Rich had been lifting boxes of shirts and bats out of his now-closed remote St Louis office. Both men were battle-ready, and both tried to spar with Tim as practice. But there can be only one.
Rich took the first move. He charged, head first, hoping to spear the unsuspecting Elrod with his golden locks. Elrod though dusted him to the side and came down with a thunderous pommel horse-style laser kick that left Rich dazed and on the ground.
After visualizing a few different outfits or styles which he could dress up his wounded victim, Elrod made went for his patented move - the scissors and razor. He pinned the bewildered Rich on the ground and shaved a Worth swirl into his once-sculpted hair. This delivered a Lummus-like 14-0 spanking before Jeff could react.
Then Rich awoke, grabbed the world's largest coffee mug and smashed it onto Seth's head, spilling his Chocolate Silk everywhere and momentarily creating an opening for an attack. The two grappled and traded jabs right and left, with a perfect 4-4 draw leaving the Purple Nurple on top 18-4.
Just when it looked as if things were done, for some crazy reason, a strange man with long blond hair (later identified as Jeff France) entered the room, gave one swift kick with some blinding-white sneakers to each of the combatants and left the scene.
Final Score: Elrod 18, Rich 4, France 1
Elrod advances to meet Jason "Leerrrooy Jenkins" Voorhees in Round 2.
Today's matchup:
Brian "Diddy" or "Death Slide" Dorsey vs Lindsey "Bridezilla" Naber
Send your votes to RawlingsUFC@hotmail.com
Good Luck.
Worth Brand Team Battle for Supremacy
Crazy Hippy Man Attempts to Join Fight
The stage was set. Seth "Purple Nurple" Elrod had been training. He had gone on daily runs with Robert for his noon-time high and rowed his rowboat around Forest Park with Tim. Meanwhile, Jeff "Worth Unicorn" Rich had been lifting boxes of shirts and bats out of his now-closed remote St Louis office. Both men were battle-ready, and both tried to spar with Tim as practice. But there can be only one.
Rich took the first move. He charged, head first, hoping to spear the unsuspecting Elrod with his golden locks. Elrod though dusted him to the side and came down with a thunderous pommel horse-style laser kick that left Rich dazed and on the ground.
After visualizing a few different outfits or styles which he could dress up his wounded victim, Elrod made went for his patented move - the scissors and razor. He pinned the bewildered Rich on the ground and shaved a Worth swirl into his once-sculpted hair. This delivered a Lummus-like 14-0 spanking before Jeff could react.
Then Rich awoke, grabbed the world's largest coffee mug and smashed it onto Seth's head, spilling his Chocolate Silk everywhere and momentarily creating an opening for an attack. The two grappled and traded jabs right and left, with a perfect 4-4 draw leaving the Purple Nurple on top 18-4.
Just when it looked as if things were done, for some crazy reason, a strange man with long blond hair (later identified as Jeff France) entered the room, gave one swift kick with some blinding-white sneakers to each of the combatants and left the scene.
Final Score: Elrod 18, Rich 4, France 1
Elrod advances to meet Jason "Leerrrooy Jenkins" Voorhees in Round 2.
Today's matchup:
Brian "Diddy" or "Death Slide" Dorsey vs Lindsey "Bridezilla" Naber
Send your votes to RawlingsUFC@hotmail.com
Good Luck.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Should the UFC invoke a Mercy Rule?
This was ugly.
UGLY.
Perhaps the first real upset happened today. Not so much of an upset in terms of seeding, but in terms of overall pummelling, this matchup took it to a new level.
Today was a dark, dark day for our accounting department. 10th-seeded Bob "Capone" Tomaszewski delivered pain all day long. It started innocently enough. 7th-seeded Lee "Kelly Clarkson" Lummus had just picked up his cell phone to text a few people and remind them to vote for him today when the darkness struck. Speaking a language best described as half Chicago, half Spanish, Tomaszewski smacked the phone out of Lummus' hands and went to work.
By taking out Lummus' texting fingers, he quickly rendered his counterpart helpless. Bob brought his well-known, yet underrated Windy City shimmy maneuver into full effect. I cannot go into full details on what this entails, short of to say that it involves a lot of twisting and can occasionally involve a wrench.
In the end, Capone dominated Lummus to the tune of a 22-2 final. And it wasn't that close.
Tomaszewski advances to meet Bruce "Bruce Bruce" Dickmann in a clash of titans on Tuesday, 8/16. This will be a battle for the ages.
Tomorrow's matchup pits Pam "Pan" Klostermann against Bill "Sunshine" Garbe.
Send your votes to RawlingsUFC@hotmail.com
Good luck.
UGLY.
Perhaps the first real upset happened today. Not so much of an upset in terms of seeding, but in terms of overall pummelling, this matchup took it to a new level.
Today was a dark, dark day for our accounting department. 10th-seeded Bob "Capone" Tomaszewski delivered pain all day long. It started innocently enough. 7th-seeded Lee "Kelly Clarkson" Lummus had just picked up his cell phone to text a few people and remind them to vote for him today when the darkness struck. Speaking a language best described as half Chicago, half Spanish, Tomaszewski smacked the phone out of Lummus' hands and went to work.
By taking out Lummus' texting fingers, he quickly rendered his counterpart helpless. Bob brought his well-known, yet underrated Windy City shimmy maneuver into full effect. I cannot go into full details on what this entails, short of to say that it involves a lot of twisting and can occasionally involve a wrench.
In the end, Capone dominated Lummus to the tune of a 22-2 final. And it wasn't that close.
Tomaszewski advances to meet Bruce "Bruce Bruce" Dickmann in a clash of titans on Tuesday, 8/16. This will be a battle for the ages.
Tomorrow's matchup pits Pam "Pan" Klostermann against Bill "Sunshine" Garbe.
Send your votes to RawlingsUFC@hotmail.com
Good luck.
Monday, July 24, 2006
Number Punched?
Every year, like clockwork, a #12 beats a #5. And this year is no different. Dave Bommarito brought in the background: he was a wrestler who later trained under Mike Turney on the Worth grassroots fields. Now he has moved up to the second floor where he occasionally gets into smack offs with customers. Meanwhile Chance brought the pedigree, and the name. What he didn't bring was the PAIN.
Chance did get in early and drop a couple of smacks in, taking a 2-0 lead before Bommarito could take off the 12 layers of sweatshirts he wanted to wear to make sure he made the weight class. He quickly put Chance into a full nelson and worked him down to the floor. Chance escaped, by quickly snapping Dave's singlet strap -- forcing a shriek of pain from Bommarito, and taking a 5-2 lead of his own.
But then it was over. Bommarito climed to the top of a cube and began raising his arms in the air, leading the crowd into a state of near riot upstairs. He flew to the ground, with a pile driver technique and left Chance helpless on the mat. Bommarito pinned him for a count of 20 -- no one was quite sure why he waited so long -- and went on to win 17-9.
Bommarito advances to meet #4 Ryan "Retail Rhino" Brady on Monday 8/14.
Next matchup: Monday: #6 Matt "The Number Puncher" Howell versus #11 Ben "Black Beauty" Schoen
Email your vote to RawlingsUFC@hotmail.com
Good luck.
Chance did get in early and drop a couple of smacks in, taking a 2-0 lead before Bommarito could take off the 12 layers of sweatshirts he wanted to wear to make sure he made the weight class. He quickly put Chance into a full nelson and worked him down to the floor. Chance escaped, by quickly snapping Dave's singlet strap -- forcing a shriek of pain from Bommarito, and taking a 5-2 lead of his own.
But then it was over. Bommarito climed to the top of a cube and began raising his arms in the air, leading the crowd into a state of near riot upstairs. He flew to the ground, with a pile driver technique and left Chance helpless on the mat. Bommarito pinned him for a count of 20 -- no one was quite sure why he waited so long -- and went on to win 17-9.
Bommarito advances to meet #4 Ryan "Retail Rhino" Brady on Monday 8/14.
Next matchup: Monday: #6 Matt "The Number Puncher" Howell versus #11 Ben "Black Beauty" Schoen
Email your vote to RawlingsUFC@hotmail.com
Good luck.
Friday, July 21, 2006
The First Big Upset
Every year, like clockwork, a #12 beats a #5. And this year is no different. Dave Bommarito brought in the background: he was a wrestler who later trained under Mike Turney on the Worth grassroots fields. Now he has moved up to the second floor where he occasionally gets into smack offs with customers. Meanwhile Chance brought the pedigree, and the name. What he didn't bring was the PAIN.
Chance did get in early and drop a couple of smacks in, taking a 2-0 lead before Bommarito could take off the 12 layers of sweatshirts he wanted to wear to make sure he made the weight class. He quickly put Chance into a full nelson and worked him down to the floor. Chance escaped, by quickly snapping Dave's singlet strap -- forcing a shriek of pain from Bommarito, and taking a 5-2 lead of his own.
But then it was over. Bommarito climed to the top of a cube and began raising his arms in the air, leading the crowd into a state of near riot upstairs. He flew to the ground, with a pile driver technique and left Chance helpless on the mat. Bommarito pinned him for a count of 20 -- no one was quite sure why he waited so long -- and went on to win 17-9.
Bommarito advances to meet #4 Ryan "Retail Rhino" Brady on Monday 8/14.
Next matchup: Monday: #6 Matt "The Number Puncher" Howell versus #11 Ben "Black Beauty" Schoen
Email your vote to RawlingsUFC@hotmail.com
Good luck.
Chance did get in early and drop a couple of smacks in, taking a 2-0 lead before Bommarito could take off the 12 layers of sweatshirts he wanted to wear to make sure he made the weight class. He quickly put Chance into a full nelson and worked him down to the floor. Chance escaped, by quickly snapping Dave's singlet strap -- forcing a shriek of pain from Bommarito, and taking a 5-2 lead of his own.
But then it was over. Bommarito climed to the top of a cube and began raising his arms in the air, leading the crowd into a state of near riot upstairs. He flew to the ground, with a pile driver technique and left Chance helpless on the mat. Bommarito pinned him for a count of 20 -- no one was quite sure why he waited so long -- and went on to win 17-9.
Bommarito advances to meet #4 Ryan "Retail Rhino" Brady on Monday 8/14.
Next matchup: Monday: #6 Matt "The Number Puncher" Howell versus #11 Ben "Black Beauty" Schoen
Email your vote to RawlingsUFC@hotmail.com
Good luck.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
let the UFC real matchups begin
Talk about a grudge match...
In one corner, Wendy "the Nasty Newlywed" Mathis. In the other, Brian "Service This" Scheele. Mathis came out fast. She cranked up her dentist's office-style music and began drilling in on Scheele's grill. Let me tell you, the shrieks of pain were difficult to stand. The quick head shots gave Mathis an early 3-0 lead.
That's when Scheele came back. Using the skills he learned down in the minor leagues of Washington, he responded with a few swift kicks of his own -- one of them with full extension -- getting him back into the game at 3-2.
And then it got silly. Mathis wacked him with her wedding ring. In the hood, a similar tactic might be the brass knuckle treatment. But in the UFC it is simply known as the rock smackdown. Dazed by the repeated fury, Scheele gave up an 8-0 run to fall behind 11-2. And from there, try as he might, there just wasn't enough time remaining for him to scrape up the victory, let alone his dignity. Mathis wins 13-7.
Awaiting her on 8/14 is Dan Bieg. And no, he doesn't need a nickname. He has a last name.
Next matchup:
The much anticipated 5 vs 12:
#5 Chance "Swiss Cheese" Hollingsworth versus #12 Dave "Italian Stallion" Bommarito.
Email your vote to RawlingsUFC@hotmail.com
Good Luck.
In one corner, Wendy "the Nasty Newlywed" Mathis. In the other, Brian "Service This" Scheele. Mathis came out fast. She cranked up her dentist's office-style music and began drilling in on Scheele's grill. Let me tell you, the shrieks of pain were difficult to stand. The quick head shots gave Mathis an early 3-0 lead.
That's when Scheele came back. Using the skills he learned down in the minor leagues of Washington, he responded with a few swift kicks of his own -- one of them with full extension -- getting him back into the game at 3-2.
And then it got silly. Mathis wacked him with her wedding ring. In the hood, a similar tactic might be the brass knuckle treatment. But in the UFC it is simply known as the rock smackdown. Dazed by the repeated fury, Scheele gave up an 8-0 run to fall behind 11-2. And from there, try as he might, there just wasn't enough time remaining for him to scrape up the victory, let alone his dignity. Mathis wins 13-7.
Awaiting her on 8/14 is Dan Bieg. And no, he doesn't need a nickname. He has a last name.
Next matchup:
The much anticipated 5 vs 12:
#5 Chance "Swiss Cheese" Hollingsworth versus #12 Dave "Italian Stallion" Bommarito.
Email your vote to RawlingsUFC@hotmail.com
Good Luck.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Controversial Ending Wreaks Havoc on Rawlings UFC
UNBELIEVABLE.
Tim "Solitaire King" Bolhafner did not train so hard for this. Hours upon hours spent staring into Seth Elrod's eyes as he mimiced every move Seth made while dressed in a matching khaki jumpsuit. Mental preparation spent at his desk, puddles of sweat surrounding his desk as he tried to decide whether or not to play that Jack of hearts or not... Why, oh why...
Bolhafner raced out to the kind of lead thus far unheard of. He roared out front 5-0, with his patented Ace-Queen-Move the King - 7 and BAM with the 6 move he practiced for weeks under the careful watch of his mentor.... He then ran into the freight train that is Jason "Brian" Russell. Russell answered with a 7-0 run of his own - dancing all over Bolhafner and whacking him in the head with that same canoe oar that Tim caressed for his day in the sun on the lake at Forest Park.
A back and forth dash ensued. First Bolhafner, then Russell, then Bolhafner. Suddenly it was 11-10 Russell with only time for one smack left. Bolhafner knew he had the tiebreaker. And that is when the most remarkable thing happened:
a vote came in for Zoomy.
Somehow, the score ends Russell 11, Bolhafner 10, Zumbach 1.
David, "Tasty Cake" Zumbach knew he'd play the winner. And he knew he didn't want to face the Solitaire King. So with time about to expire, he somehow came into the battle and whacked them both, simultaneously before stating, "more of that comes in the next round." And it shall for Russell.
Thursday's matchup starts the first round. (NO MORE PLAY IN games)
Wendy "The Nasty Newlywed" Mathis meets Brian "Service This" Scheele.
Email your vote to RawlingsUFC@hotmail.com
Good luck to all.
Tim "Solitaire King" Bolhafner did not train so hard for this. Hours upon hours spent staring into Seth Elrod's eyes as he mimiced every move Seth made while dressed in a matching khaki jumpsuit. Mental preparation spent at his desk, puddles of sweat surrounding his desk as he tried to decide whether or not to play that Jack of hearts or not... Why, oh why...
Bolhafner raced out to the kind of lead thus far unheard of. He roared out front 5-0, with his patented Ace-Queen-Move the King - 7 and BAM with the 6 move he practiced for weeks under the careful watch of his mentor.... He then ran into the freight train that is Jason "Brian" Russell. Russell answered with a 7-0 run of his own - dancing all over Bolhafner and whacking him in the head with that same canoe oar that Tim caressed for his day in the sun on the lake at Forest Park.
A back and forth dash ensued. First Bolhafner, then Russell, then Bolhafner. Suddenly it was 11-10 Russell with only time for one smack left. Bolhafner knew he had the tiebreaker. And that is when the most remarkable thing happened:
a vote came in for Zoomy.
Somehow, the score ends Russell 11, Bolhafner 10, Zumbach 1.
David, "Tasty Cake" Zumbach knew he'd play the winner. And he knew he didn't want to face the Solitaire King. So with time about to expire, he somehow came into the battle and whacked them both, simultaneously before stating, "more of that comes in the next round." And it shall for Russell.
Thursday's matchup starts the first round. (NO MORE PLAY IN games)
Wendy "The Nasty Newlywed" Mathis meets Brian "Service This" Scheele.
Email your vote to RawlingsUFC@hotmail.com
Good luck to all.
A Tight Intern Matchup, but there can be only one Brian
This was a good old-fashioned dual, with two warriors decked out in nicely ironed khakis and polos exchanging body blows.
Brian "Popping his Collar Princess" Correnti came on strong early -- mixing a thusfar unseen combination of jump-kicks and scissor kicks to the back, rolling to an early 5-1 lead.
It was then that Brian "Son of Tim?" Cronin showed up. Moving as fast as he would if someone was attempting to lift a pack of gum from QT, he ripped his shirt off, grabbed Correnti, and put him into a reverse death hold and then yelling "Who's Your Maryville Newcomer of the Year?" -- tying the score at 5. After trading groans and grunts (with Correnti edging a 7-6 lead, of course), the game turned. Correnti flicked Cronin away from his body with a quick smack of the wrist and proceeded to go at it with the level of fury which must have been learned on the streets of the Worth event team... going on an unprecedented 8-4 run en route to a 15-10 victory.
Correnti advances to meet Matt "SENB" Bensing on Tuesday August 1st. Cronin joins Eckelkamp in the weight room for more practice.
Wednesday's matchup: Tim "Solitaire Kingpin" Bolhafner versus Brian Russell for the right to take on David "Tasty Cake" Zumbach... Please email your winner to: RawlingsUFC@hotmail.com.
Good luck to all.
Brian "Popping his Collar Princess" Correnti came on strong early -- mixing a thusfar unseen combination of jump-kicks and scissor kicks to the back, rolling to an early 5-1 lead.
It was then that Brian "Son of Tim?" Cronin showed up. Moving as fast as he would if someone was attempting to lift a pack of gum from QT, he ripped his shirt off, grabbed Correnti, and put him into a reverse death hold and then yelling "Who's Your Maryville Newcomer of the Year?" -- tying the score at 5. After trading groans and grunts (with Correnti edging a 7-6 lead, of course), the game turned. Correnti flicked Cronin away from his body with a quick smack of the wrist and proceeded to go at it with the level of fury which must have been learned on the streets of the Worth event team... going on an unprecedented 8-4 run en route to a 15-10 victory.
Correnti advances to meet Matt "SENB" Bensing on Tuesday August 1st. Cronin joins Eckelkamp in the weight room for more practice.
Wednesday's matchup: Tim "Solitaire Kingpin" Bolhafner versus Brian Russell for the right to take on David "Tasty Cake" Zumbach... Please email your winner to: RawlingsUFC@hotmail.com.
Good luck to all.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Intern Pummeled in 1st Round UFC Matchup; Battle of the Brians set for today
Nick Eckelkamp had it all going for him. He showed up in his pasty white tank top and began flexing his muscles in an odd, raptor-like fashion. Perhaps purely by his intimidation factor, or perhaps due to his freakish power developed in his wingspan, he rushed out to a 4-3 lead over fellow intern Julie "do we have to work tomorrow" Tindle.
But that's when the rage began. Tindle, sporting stiletto heels that allowed her to see eye to eye with the taller Eckelkamp, ducked in underneath one of Eckelkamp's wind up shots to pierce his body with a stunning slap to the face.
And before Eckelkamp could say broomstick with teeth, he found himself falling down to the ground, receiving slap after slap on his way to receiving a 16-6 beating. To put this run in perspective, Tindle smashed Nick to the tune of a 13-2 run after the initial toss up.
Tindle may or may not be at work today. She advances to meet Allison "Big Al" Steinman in the opening round on the 31st. Eckelkamp is the first one sent home.
Today's matchup: Brian Cronin vs Brian Correnti
Please email your vote to RawlingsUFC@hotmail.com before 5 pm.
Tie breaker comment: In response to any questions, the tie breaker is determined by the first vote received at 8:00 am or later. Any vote received before 8 am is still legal, it just doesn't count for the tiebreaker.
have fun.
But that's when the rage began. Tindle, sporting stiletto heels that allowed her to see eye to eye with the taller Eckelkamp, ducked in underneath one of Eckelkamp's wind up shots to pierce his body with a stunning slap to the face.
And before Eckelkamp could say broomstick with teeth, he found himself falling down to the ground, receiving slap after slap on his way to receiving a 16-6 beating. To put this run in perspective, Tindle smashed Nick to the tune of a 13-2 run after the initial toss up.
Tindle may or may not be at work today. She advances to meet Allison "Big Al" Steinman in the opening round on the 31st. Eckelkamp is the first one sent home.
Today's matchup: Brian Cronin vs Brian Correnti
Please email your vote to RawlingsUFC@hotmail.com before 5 pm.
Tie breaker comment: In response to any questions, the tie breaker is determined by the first vote received at 8:00 am or later. Any vote received before 8 am is still legal, it just doesn't count for the tiebreaker.
have fun.
Monday, July 17, 2006
Rawlings 2006 UFC Preview
Rawlings UFC Game Matchup Analysis
Here’s a brief overview to the first round (and play in games for this year’s Rawlings UFC). As a reminder, the top three interns were included into the field, while six others have to battle for the right to be included.
Play In Games:
| | Nick | Julie |
| Preparation | | X |
| Heart | X | |
| Hustle | | X |
| Tenacity | X | |
| Wiliness | | X |
| Strength | | X |
| Reach | X | |
In what may be one of the best play-in matchups in years, Eckelkamp and Tindle will square off, with the winner getting the chance to go head to head with Allison “Big Al” Steinman. Eckelkamp dominates in reach, with his freakish 10 foot wingspan set to keep Tindle away from his paltry mid-section. Tindle is hoping her wiliness will be the difference.
Andy’s Pick: Tindle, setting up a classic showdown with Big Al Steinman in the opening round.
Brian Correnti vs Brian Cronin: Tuesday 7/18
| | Correnti | Cronin |
| Preparation | | X |
| Heart | X | |
| Hustle | | X |
| Tenacity | X | |
| Wiliness | X | |
| Strength | even | |
| Reach | X | |
It’s the battle of the Brians. The big question is if either of them has what it takes to even make Bensing sweat in the opener.
Tim “Poppa Burgandy” Bolhafner vs Jason Russell: Wednesday 7/19
| | Tim | Jason |
| Preparation | | X |
| Heart | X | |
| Hustle | | X |
| Tenacity | X | |
| Wiliness | X | |
| Strength | | X |
| Reach | | X |
This matchup comes down to preparation. While Bolhafner was busy losing his 35th consecutive game of solitaire (during work hours, of course), Russell was out shagging DT’s balls. The question is which combatant will be more prepared.
Andy’s pick: Bolhafner. UFC is an individual sport, much like solitaire. Practice makes perfect.
Stare at Numbers Regional
(8) Wendy Mathis vs. (9) Brian Scheele: Thursday 7/20
| | Mathis | Scheele |
| Preparation | X | |
| Heart | X | |
| Hustle | | X |
| Tenacity | X | |
| Wiliness | X | |
| Strength | | X |
| Reach | | X |
Mathis has had her share of preparation, getting daily training advice from Rawlings guru Bob Tomackeigyrifssksky. Scheele has been relaxing in the peace and quiet of the second floor. He does play a mean kickball game though.
Andy’s pick: Mathis. She’ll quickly go after Scheele’s legs, rendering him harmless. That’s when she’ll go in for the power kill.
(5) Chance Hollingsworth vs (12) Dave Bommarito: Friday 7/21
| | Hollingsworth | Bommarito |
| Preparation | | X |
| Heart | X | |
| Hustle | | X |
| Tenacity | X | |
| Wiliness | | X |
| Strength | X | |
| Reach | X (maybe) | |
How in the world could Chance get an edge in reach? This is crazy. Bommarito moved from intern to full time employee to darkhorse in the Rawlings UFC. He brings a frenetic pace and a bunch of wiliness to the table. Meanwhile, Chance brings a calm approach that says “I’ve been here before.”
Andy’s pick: Every year in the NCAA Basketball tourney, at least one #12 beats a #5 seed. But it won’t happen here. Hollingsworth wins.
(6) Matt “Number Puncher” Howell vs (11) Ben “Black Beauty” Schoen: Monday 7/24
| | Howell | Schoen |
| Preparation | | X |
| Heart | X | |
| Hustle | X | |
| Tenacity | X | |
| Wiliness | X | |
| Strength | | X |
| Reach | | X |
This is an interesting matchup between two of the most intense number crunchers in the building. Schoen has a spreadsheet set up precisely calculating each of Howell’s weak points, which are tabbed and cross tabbed to indicate the best possible approach. Howell has spent a great deal of time on the first floor this summer – no doubt scouting out his future opponent. This will also mark the first time Howell has set up in a Rawlings competition without the support of Lee Lummus.
Andy’s pick: Howell. This will be an even fight, but Howell will patrol the halls asking for votes.
(7) Lee Lummus vs (10) Bob “Capone” Tomaszewski: Tuesday 7/25
| | Lummus | Tomaszewski |
| Preparation | | X |
| Heart | | X |
| Hustle | | X |
| Tenacity | X | |
| Wiliness | X | |
| Strength | | X |
| Reach | | X |
Lummus has the fastest texting finger in this year’s tourney (although Speicher could give him a run for the money). Tomaszewski brings a Chicago/Polish hard-nosed toughness to the battle, and a willingness to bet on anything.
Andy’s pick: Got to go with the Polish guy with the long arms in a battle. Plus I think the edge in stamina is enough to sway this battle his way.
Looking Pretty Regional
(8) Pam “Pan” Klostermann vs (9) Bill Garbe: Wednesday 7/26
| | Klostermann | Garbe |
| Preparation | | X |
| Heart | Even | |
| Hustle | X | |
| Tenacity | X | |
| Wiliness | | X |
| Strength | X | |
| Reach | | X |
This one is likely to be a slugfest. Klostermann brings the tenacity while Garbe brings a north-county unpredictability that has been known to swarm many past victims.
Andy’s Pick: Garbe has spent hours watching hockey and drinking beer in preparation for this, but will Pam be able to thwart his advance? The pick here is Garbe in a close one.
(5) Seth “Purple Nurple” Elrod vs (12) Jeff “Worth Unicorn” Rich: Thursday 7/27
| | Elrod | Rich |
| Preparation | X | |
| Heart | X | |
| Hustle | X | |
| Tenacity | X | |
| Wiliness | | X |
| Strength | | X |
| Reach | even | |
Rumor has it that Elrod and Robert have been running several days a week in preparation for this one. Seth has also created a color-coded, laminated cheat sheet of secret battle moves and is likely to hit Rich early and often.
But this won’t be as easy a matchup as the seeding indicates. Rich has trained with such battle-tested warriors as Rick Hasty and Aunt Jemima (who have eerily similar traits, but that’s another story).
Andy’s Pick: Elrod will rally his interns to make sure he lasts to the next round.
(6) Brian Dorsey vs (11) Lindsey Naber: Friday 7/28
| | Dorsey | Naber |
| Preparation | | X |
| Heart | Even | |
| Hustle | | X |
| Tenacity | X | |
| Wiliness | | X |
| Strength | X | |
| Reach | X | |
This is one of the most intriguing matchups of the first round. Dorsey brings a hard-nosed approach, but adds in an unwillingness to get dirty and slide if he needs to. This is a shame, as slide tackles have proven to be among the most effective takedown moves in all early round battles.
Naber was unable to stop Steve Garvey from getting in for a few pecks to the face in a meeting this spring, and she’ll need to keep Dorsey from moving in close enough to get a shot at her. She does have the ability to outmaneuver her opponents with her quickness and wiliness.
Andy’s pick: Dorsey has the reach, which will be the deciding factor here.
(7) Allison “Big Al” Steinman vs (10) Nick “Broomstick with Teeth” Eckelkamp or Julie Tindle: Monday 7/31
| | Steinman | Tindle/Eckelkamp |
| Preparation | X | |
| Heart | X | |
| Hustle | X | |
| Tenacity | X | |
| Wiliness | | X |
| Strength | | X |
| Reach | | X |
Big Al will be rested and waiting. She will likely find a wounded Tindle or Eckelkamp limping into a matchup in which they will need every ounce of energy to keep in the match.
Andy’s pick: Steinman in a rout.
Product Kings Regional
(8) Matt “SENB” Bensing vs (9) Brian Correnti or Brian Cronin: Tuesday 8/1
| | Bensing | Correnti/Cronin |
| Preparation | X | |
| Heart | X | |
| Hustle | X | |
| Tenacity | X | |
| Wiliness | | X |
| Strength | X | |
| Reach | X | |
This is a tough spot for an intern. Bensing, likely due to his Hilton background, comes in a relative unknown to many in the group. He’s been battle tested through Hilton and Rawlings and is anxiously awaiting one of the Brians to come in.
Andy’s pick: It is tough to play two matchups so quickly, and Bensing will send one or both of the Brians back to school. Bensing handles Petco, and trust me, the Brians are no Petco.
(5) Derek Speicher vs (12) Ron Hilson: Wednesday 8/2
| | Speicher | Hilson |
| Preparation | | X |
| Heart | X | |
| Hustle | X | |
| Tenacity | X | |
| Wiliness | | X |
| Strength | X | |
| Reach | | X |
Hilson might just be the 12 seed to come right in and spank an unsuspecting 5 seed. Derek might be the only 5 seed who would like it. Ron will be prepared, after spending several years under the tutelage of Bensing and carefully practicing his Rex Kwon Do.
Meanwhile, Speicher will make sure he looks his best, and text messages everyone to remind them of his matchup. He will hope to become the first Mizzou team to win a first round matchup since 1985.
Andy’s pick: Mark it down: The big upset. Hilson in a nailbiter.
(6) Scott Keene vs (11) Dan Cullinane: Thursday 8/3
| | | Cullinane |
| Preparation | | X |
| Heart/Ribs | XX | |
| Hustle | | X |
| Tenacity | | X |
| Wiliness | | X |
| Strength | X | |
| Reach | X | |
Cullinane might have an edge. He is the Rawlings expert on protective gear, and we all know he’ll need it. After breaking a rib while relaxing on the couch, watching TV, Dan will try to keep his distance and calculate (to the decimal point) his exact method to succeed. He is very fortunate his wife is not in the field, and will have to keep himself from getting into a snuggling position with
Andy’s pick:
(7) David “Tasty Cakes” Zumbach vs (10) Tim “Poppa
| | Zumbach | Bolhafner/Russell |
| Preparation | X | |
| Heart | X | |
| Hustle | X | |
| Tenacity | X | |
| Wiliness | | X |
| Strength | | X |
| Reach | X | |
The question is, how much of a fight will the intern winner put up. Would letting the big boss win allow you to look better and hopefully make a name for yourself? Or would it make you come across as a weakling, unwilling to fight for your honor?
The bet here is that it doesn’t matter. Since being taken out by a flying Mountain Dew can, Zoomy has begun gorging on protein – taking in 200 grams of protein each day by secretly hiding energy bars in all areas of his office.
Andy’s pick: Zumbach: His 200 miles/week bike training regimen will lead to some serious leg-whip action which will render his intern prey helpless.
Live Action Regional
(8) Kate Ranzini vs (9) Barb Foerstel: Monday 8/7
| | Ranzini | Foerstel |
| Preparation | Even | |
| Heart | Even | |
| Hustle | Even | |
| Tenacity | X | |
| Wiliness | | X |
| Strength | Even | |
| Reach | Even | |
This is the toughest matchup in the tourney. Wow. You have two battle-tested warriors who are willing to face anyone, any time, any place. Ranzini has installed a wireless headset to her phone so that she can occasionally do calisthenics while talking on the phone. Meanwhile, Foerstel quietly spars with the best of them.
The guess here is that the winner will give a serious bit of heart burn to the region’s #1 seed, Dennis Turner.
Andy’s pick: Ranzini, by getting in early and getting the first vote tiebreaker.
(5) Mark “Cosmopolitan” Kraemer vs (12) Jim “Quiet Assassin” O’Connor: Tuesday 8/8
| | Kraemer | O’Connor |
| Preparation | | X |
| Heart | | X |
| Hustle | X | |
| Tenacity | X | |
| Wiliness | | X |
| Strength | X | |
| Reach | X | |
In an intriguing matchup, the veteran O’Connor, nicknamed the Quiet Assassin by his cube neighbors (if that tells you anything about him – he’s either really tough or he farts a lot) meets the upstart youngster Kraemer.
Kraemer brings the youthful energy and swagger it takes to go deep in a matchup like this, but he might have to go if his phone should ring.
Andy’s pick: This is another great 5 vs 12 matchup, but the pick here is the top seeded Kraemer.
(6) Denny “Big Sexy” Whiteside vs (11) Biju Mathew: Wednesday 8/9
| | Whiteside | Biju |
| Preparation | | X |
| Heart | Even | |
| Hustle | X | |
| Tenacity | X | |
| Wiliness | X | |
| Strength | Even | |
| Reach | Even | |
It’s a tough run for young Biju. After training in the remote woods of
Andy’s pick: Whiteside. He’ll wrap himself up in Christmas lights again and scare the will out of the unsuspecting Biju. Then he will pounce.
(7) Art “Clubber Wang” Chou vs (10) Liz Liverar: Thursday 8/10
| | Chou | Liverar |
| Preparation | | X |
| Heart | Even | |
| Hustle | | X |
| Tenacity | X | |
| Wiliness | | X |
| Strength | | X |
| Reach | X | |
In a battle of quiet ninjas, Liverar seems ready to take out Chou. This is poised to be a tight matchup, and one that could last into the late hours of the night. That plays exactly into the hands of Liverar, who has won many a battle of wills in just the same manner. Give her the edge in strength as well, although rumor has it Art is constructing a hitting robot to do his dirty work for him. It likely won’t be finished before 8/10.
Andy’s pick: Due to it lasting late into the night, the pick here is Liverar. Chou will be too tired without a coffee in hand and powerless without his hitting robot.
